Shattered Illusions

I thought I was pretty wise to the world..key word there being thought. I also thought that after everything I've been through, I would be able to handle most anything thrown at me. I have to tell you, I in no way was prepared for this last week. Mouse and I were sitting on my bed with her doing homework and texting with her "boy toy". I've never been too worried about this kid. She has known him since 1st grade. They went to school together for several years and he lives in another city. He is still attending parochial school. So...anyway....last week as we were working on proportions, he texts her telling her he wants to ask her something but doesn't want her to get mad. I was thinking how bad could it be. I was so not prepared when she showed me his text. He was asking her to trade naked pictures. WTF?!? They are 13!!! He wanted her to send him a nude photo of herself and he would send her a shirtless photo. He begged, he pleaded, he even used the "don't you want to see how sexy I am". Umm SEXY at 13?? Not even old enough to have fuzz on the peaches. He begged...she got upset. So many things went through my head here.
1) I was very proud of her for so many reasons. She came to me... she never hesitated. She did tell me not to tell her dad because he would "flip out". She trusted me when this happened and felt she could talk to me about it. Way cool. She also told him not just no but hell no. She didn't give in when he begged and pleaded and she even told him on her own that if he didn't think more of her than that then maybe they shouldn't be talking. He apologized of course but, hasn't talked to her since.
2) I did pretty good with not flipping out myself. I wanted to and I've walked a very fine line. There's a part of me that wants to text him, call him, or better yet talk to his parents. But, I respect that she came to me and I don't want to violate that trust. That is far more important to me than going off on him or telling his parents.
3) I was surprised at how many ways it triggered me when she said these 4 little words, "I feel so violated." I know what that feels like. It sent me places I wasn't fond of going nor want to travel back to any time soon. What am I going to do when they actually want to date?!? This is going to be a wild ride and I'm soooooo not ready for it. I'm very glad that J is still in to horses and has NO interest in boys.

In the end, Mouse has decided that this guy really isn't worth the heartache and is "dumping" him. She said they can be friends but, she's not interested in someone who wants to trade pics like that - of course we all know that's why he was texting her "friends". They are the kind of girls who do. I'm so proud of her for being true to herself. I'm glad that she respects herself enough to do that. Too bad not all young people do. Sexting should be left to the adults :)

XoXo
Pandora

The Perils of Being a Librarian

Who knew being a librarian could be so ummm risky...or is that risque?!? In my 1st month on the job....I've experienced teenage delinquents who vandalized my car after they got thrown out for accessing porn on the computers.....I've had to call the cops to have a gentleman removed from the building for accessing porn on the computers....we had an alarm go off over a weekend....and patrons complaining about some of the books I put up for display because they are called "Flush" and "Scat". Then there is the woman who day in and day out sits in the back of the library talking to her "Babe" either on her webcam or in PalTalk. Today...they were discussing her flying him here from some foreign country and them getting married...although they've never been in the same room or country for that matter. Ahhh yes...the joys of being a librarian. I should start writing a sitcom..."As the pages Turn"?

XoXo
Pandora

General Update

Hello Blogosphere....been a while since I've given an update. I've been a bad bad blogger! I haven't been blowing the world off....things have just been crazy. I've been working long hours and when I'm not at work, I'm exhausted from the lupus and/or sick. The kids of course have all of their activities...ROTC, band, music memory, basketball, track, debate, choir, baseball, ready writing and editorial writing. So....add that to an already full schedule and I guess I really do understand why I'm so tired all the time.

The job is going great....more on that to come in a follow-up blog. We spent the last two days moving books. We moved EVERY book in the library. It was quite the task. We did something called "weeding" which is pulling books in bad shape, out of date, or that just don't circulate. I didn't like the layout of the books so we totally redid it and made both a children's section and a teen section. I'm anxious to see what the patrons think when they get a look at the new place. It gives it a totally different vibe. Been doing a lot of training too. I really like the job...other than the city staff meetings and the city council meetings. Not so much my thing but, it's part of the job so I won't complain...much.

My health isn't as good as it had been there for a while. I've been really tired and noticing I'm having a lot more trouble getting around again. I'm trying to listen to my body and follow the cues it is sending but, it is hard to slow down when I see so many things I need to do. Hasn't helped that I can't shake this cold :( My hands are really sore from moving books. Still worth it though to make the place feel mine :)

The estate is still open and I'm feeling like it is NEVER going to be resolved. I would really like to start moving on and having some closure. It is hard to believe Mom has been gone for 6 months already. I miss her every single day. It is really hard when patrons check out Debbie McComber books. The worst though is going to the nursing home as part of our senior outreach and seeing all the people there. It reminds me so much of her time in rehab. I take a dog with me when we go so they all want to spend time with me. There are a few that get very excited to see me come. One is always telling me I remind him of his daughter whom I'm guessing he doesn't get to see much any more. I do pretty good until they start singing church hymns that both mom and dad really enjoyed - Amazing Grace, Old Rugged Cross and In the Garden. UGH!

Oh well....just wanted to try to catch up and still trying to do a better job of blogging regularly. Keep checking back - I promise I will do better :)

Sweet hugs,

Pandora

Okay.....that sucked!

So....I went to the school today...guns loaded and locked and ready to take on the world for lumping my daughter in with the kids who don't strive to do their best. I was ready for that counselor to put up a fight about changing her to track 1/calendar 1. I was already in a very bad mood because the boy child is pushing his luck....he may have to go visit Colorado Living for a while so I don't strangle him. The school was going to feel the wrath of momma bear protecting her cub. I walked in to the counselors office and told her my issue and gave her the paperwork to support what I was saying. I expected to hear how she couldn't do anything and instead I got...no problem. I will take care of this right away. You don't need to stay you can go on to work and I will call you when it is taken care of. WHAT?!? Nothing at that school has ever been that easy. The 1 day I wanted to be the crazy mom they ruined it for me damn it!! So, I thanked her...and trudged off to start my day at work very disappointed that I didn't get to have that emotional release I was looking for. To top it off...she called me not once but twice today to tell me she had worked it all out and J was on track 1 now. Guess I will have to save that rage for the attorney tomorrow who STILL hasn't resolved the estate issues.

Letting the rage stew!!

XoXo
Pandora :)