You Can't Fix Crazy

So, it has been a while since I've blogged. Shame on me! I should blog more, lord knows I have lots to say. Work has been busy....back to school has kept me busy as well. Then there is the chaos that seems to find its way in to my life.

A few short weeks ago, I got a very strange email from my stalker. I didn't lose a lot of sleep over it, well some, but no more than usual. Strange emails from my stalker are a way of life...or at least they have been for a few years now. Wow...years. Well, I didn't think much about it. Until the very next day my phone rang and it was my stalker from his cell phone. Hmmm he NEVER calls from his cell phone because his wife can track that. So...I answered. He wanted me to know that the email I received wasn't from him...it was from his wife. Oh goodie...lets add another psycho to my life. I ignored the email and didn't reply hoping that would be the end of it but, as my luck has it that was just wishful thinking as usual. The next day I had another email. This time identifying herself as his wife and ripping in to me for my inappropriate relationship with her husband. WOW...too bad she doesn't know the truth. I tried really hard to ignore the email. I was actually doing pretty good at it. Then next thing I know, my cell phone has a missed call from the stalker's cell phone again and a voicemail. I tried to figure out the best strategy to manage the situation. I found myself right back in the chaos I was in when I came back from Atlanta. Whatever sense of stability, safety and control I had convinced myself I had was shattered and I was the same scared person I was way back then. I shifted right back in to crisis management mode. I emailed her back and tried to make nice. I tried to tell her I had just a work related relationship with him from years ago. But, you can't fix crazy. Next thing I know, I'm getting email from him from a new email account requesting an opportunity to talk to me. And again, in that old mode of crisis management and trying to keep from pissing everyone off I traded a few messages with him. He of course wanted to apologize for her behavior. Not sure how I would have reacted being her... finding emails from my husband to some woman I don't know asking for pictures and all sorts of inappropriate content. But, it should have been a clue when there were no replies. Anyway, he had the nerve to ask me to LIE for him. She was threatening to call me....to contact my husband. Whoa....to contact MY husband and drag MY family back in to the hell hole my life has been since that night? I can't begin to tell you the fear and panic I felt. Words cannot begin to convey it. I felt like everything I had worked for in the last few years was vanishing before my eyes. So, I told him I wouldn't tell her anything but, he needed to keep her away from my family. And, he THANKED me for being his friend in all this. WTF?! In the meantime, another email from the wife and it was less than polite. I really tried with her ya know. I didn't tell her what a prick her husband is. I didn't shatter her world like he did mine. But, that wasn't enough for her. She still felt the need to pass on a few 4 letter words and to again threaten my family. She was going to contact my husband and tell him I've been having some nefarious interaction with her husband. Are you kidding me?! All this was happening within the span of a few days. I didn't know what Monday morning would bring but, I was filled with the fear and anxiety that has haunted me for some time now. Monday morning rolled around and I went to work not knowing if some crazy woman would be showing up and creating issues. I didn't know if the man who I still fear would show up because his world had been rocked. It was all seeming too much to bear. Then it happened. My phone rang and without a second thought I answered it. It was a number I didn't know and I had gotten used to not being so cautious. It was him...again. He wanted to tell me again how sorry he was and to see what I had heard from her. I snapped. Whatever fear and anxiety I felt was overcome by a rush of anger and resentment. I tore in to him and told him he didn't need to worry so much about what she was doing as he needed to worry about what I was ready to do. I told him flat out that I was done running. I deleted my email account (which to this day pisses me off because it was one I have had for years that I played games on). I informed him, okay...I threatened him. I told him that if she came anywhere near my family....if she contacted my husband or she showed up at my office, she would know exactly what has happened between us and all about the other women that I know about. And at that moment, all the dynamics of this situation changed. For the first time, I think he heard me. I think he knew I was dead serious. That's all been a few weeks ago....and it has been....ummmm quiet. I don't feel so much dread like I used to when there was one of these periods of silence....not a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I find I don't feel much of anything about him....her....this...not even a sense of hopeful optimism that he might be gone for good this time.
I do however, find myself guarded with people again. I have that heightened sense of insecurity when I walk in to a room. I do avoid being touched still. I don't want to be crowded and heaven help you if I feel trapped. All of this has reminded me that I will never be "normal" again. That it won't take much to put me back to that place. Time has made it a little easier and I never would have snapped the way I did a year ago. I guess time will tell how this story will end but for now all this was just a reminder....you can't fix crazy.

TMI

So, I had a totally weird moment. I got a "friend" request from my 13 year old daughter's flavor of the month on facebook. I didn't really feel like I could just ignore the request since I've accepted requests from all the kids at the library. Being me....I started poking around his page and saw my daughter listed as his "in a relationship" person. Ewwww......so not what I wanted to see. But, that was mild compared to all the other things I saw on the other kids pages. Do parents really just close their eyes and not look at the crap their kids post for all the world to see on the web?!? I've resisted my kids getting social networking accounts because I'm just overprotective that way and after reviewing all the "friends" pages, I remember why I'm that way. These kids are barely teens....BARELY....and on some of their pages they are barely dressed. OMG! I couldn't believe how they put themselves out there. It seems there is nothing left to the imagination. If they are bi, tri, quasi....they have no problem telling the world on the internet. I'm disheartened and sad that parent's don't pay attention to their kids and they let them engage in risky behavior.
I know I'm seen as the mama bear who is being overprotective. Maybe I am but, I don't want to wake up one day with one of my kids being the one on the milk carton. Maybe my own personal experience with my stalker has impacted how I view the world. I still wonder how I will be when they want to really date. I'm trying not to visualize myself as the crazy eyed woman sitting behind the blacked out windows peering through the binoculars...cell phone beeping with the gps signal so I don't lose sight of them....baseball bat sitting in the seat beside me. Can you imagine bringing her home late?

On a lighter side- know these have been around a time or two but thought about them again tonight:

10 Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact,
come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilising a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

My Mamma Always Told Me to Avoid Religion & Politics

So....in my new job I'm part of the city leadership team. What does that mean exactly?? That means marathon staff meetings every Tuesday - they average 3...yes 3 hours. It also means city council meetings every two weeks and OMG these can take forever....average 4 hours + so we don't get out of there until almost midnight. Well, this city is not like all the other small town Texas cities....it is so far right that they make Glenn Beck look liberal. During the course of the city council meeting this week, I looked around the room and realized I was the only female in the audience...and 1 of 3 women in the room. When they break to go to "executive session" I don't attend those. So the other 2 women left the room....leaving me with the 50 something male posse. I should have walked away....but nope didn't exercise my brain there...major brain fart. I was trying to avoid all the Washington slamming....was trying to avoid the discussion about how our council and city deficit spend. So I entered into a conversation about my kids....of course I didn't stop to think that the conversation I was having was about standing in line to vote and how I was playing devils advocate with my son and arguing the opposite of what his position was regarding the republican propositions. I was relaying the conversation we had about having the 10 commandments and prayer in government buildings during government meetings. I was sharing how I told him that people who weren't Christian might feel disenfranchised and trying to get him to think about separation of church and state. Oh my....who would have thought that trying to make my child an independent thinker would lead to me being called a leftist...virtually a communist. A gentleman not involved in my conversation but eavesdropping piped in to tell me I am what's wrong with our country. That I want to take God out of our country and placate to all these Muslims (btw muslims weren't even my example - I said wiccans and Buddhists). How he was just certain I was proud of my president (mine...not his) for bringing all those ruggers into the white house and having them roll out their prayer rugs. How my president wasn't even recognizing the national day of prayer nor did he have a Christmas tree in the white house. After my initial shock wore off, I was my usual charming self when someone is an ass and showed him the errors of his ways. I asked a friend to help me locate some information and right there on the spot with my trusty blackberry - I showed him the white house tree, showed him how the prayer celebration the muslims had in DC was on the steps of congress and how the right's picture that was attached to the bogus news article was actually Obama outside a mosque in Turkey and how the president was participating in the national day of prayer just not at the white house. He shook his head and stomped off muttering something about technology being the end to us all and my using these made up left wing sources to try to discredit him. Yep....I did a no no....religion and politics. I guess every news source other than FOX is controlled by the left .

Be careful my comrades....you might get red listed reading my rants :)

Again with the Common Sense Thing

Okay....is it just me ....is it just Texas....or has the whole freaking world gone stupid on me?!? Okay....I know part of it is living in Texas. I got a letter from the school earlier this week. Imagine my surprise when it was to notify me they had scheduled a 504 hearing for my daughter. For those of you not familiar with 504 hearings - those are for kids with learning disabilities/issues. Now while I agree these are great options for kids that have true need for them, I have to ask myself what dope someone at that school was smoking when they scheduled one of these hearings from J....my straight A all honors courses student. In the state of Texas, kids that have chronic health conditions (Asthma, diabetes, etc.) are identified as kids in need of 504 plans. Now I'm sure some of those kids really do have need for an alternative plan that makes allowances for getting work in on time, etc. But, again...what dope were they smoking when it came to J?? She's not missed a single school day for asthma this year either. At least at the middle school, they were smart enough to call me before trying to schedule hearings for A & R....which they did. I laughed at that guy too...then refused services. So, I called the special programs director at the school to ask her why the hell they scheduled this hearing for an honor student who is tutoring the kids in the 504 program. She gave me a lame excuse and being the smartass we all know and adore....I offered to help them set up a process to weed out these kids that are just caught in this wormhole ....being identified as needing services and no one there being smart enough to flag them and say WTF were we thinking with this one. Needless to say...haven't heard back from them just yet.

Ahhh yes....justification for more chlorine in the gene pool.

XoXo
Pandora

Brief bit a news

Yeah! It's official....I'm no longer interim. I'm happy and relieved. Which is really good....bout time. The estate still hasn't changed which is very annoying. I don't know why people find it so hard to just do what they say. Is it really that hard to just do your job? Apparently so....lawyers....bottom of the feeding pool. Tomorrow and Friday are two more days of training....I have more training hours in the first 6 weeks of this job than required for the next 3 years. Who woulda thunk it was so complicated!

So much going on in the world and so much to say....too bad my joints are hurting tonight and making typing such a task....more to come.

XoXo
Pandora

Shattered Illusions

I thought I was pretty wise to the world..key word there being thought. I also thought that after everything I've been through, I would be able to handle most anything thrown at me. I have to tell you, I in no way was prepared for this last week. Mouse and I were sitting on my bed with her doing homework and texting with her "boy toy". I've never been too worried about this kid. She has known him since 1st grade. They went to school together for several years and he lives in another city. He is still attending parochial school. So...anyway....last week as we were working on proportions, he texts her telling her he wants to ask her something but doesn't want her to get mad. I was thinking how bad could it be. I was so not prepared when she showed me his text. He was asking her to trade naked pictures. WTF?!? They are 13!!! He wanted her to send him a nude photo of herself and he would send her a shirtless photo. He begged, he pleaded, he even used the "don't you want to see how sexy I am". Umm SEXY at 13?? Not even old enough to have fuzz on the peaches. He begged...she got upset. So many things went through my head here.
1) I was very proud of her for so many reasons. She came to me... she never hesitated. She did tell me not to tell her dad because he would "flip out". She trusted me when this happened and felt she could talk to me about it. Way cool. She also told him not just no but hell no. She didn't give in when he begged and pleaded and she even told him on her own that if he didn't think more of her than that then maybe they shouldn't be talking. He apologized of course but, hasn't talked to her since.
2) I did pretty good with not flipping out myself. I wanted to and I've walked a very fine line. There's a part of me that wants to text him, call him, or better yet talk to his parents. But, I respect that she came to me and I don't want to violate that trust. That is far more important to me than going off on him or telling his parents.
3) I was surprised at how many ways it triggered me when she said these 4 little words, "I feel so violated." I know what that feels like. It sent me places I wasn't fond of going nor want to travel back to any time soon. What am I going to do when they actually want to date?!? This is going to be a wild ride and I'm soooooo not ready for it. I'm very glad that J is still in to horses and has NO interest in boys.

In the end, Mouse has decided that this guy really isn't worth the heartache and is "dumping" him. She said they can be friends but, she's not interested in someone who wants to trade pics like that - of course we all know that's why he was texting her "friends". They are the kind of girls who do. I'm so proud of her for being true to herself. I'm glad that she respects herself enough to do that. Too bad not all young people do. Sexting should be left to the adults :)

XoXo
Pandora

The Perils of Being a Librarian

Who knew being a librarian could be so ummm risky...or is that risque?!? In my 1st month on the job....I've experienced teenage delinquents who vandalized my car after they got thrown out for accessing porn on the computers.....I've had to call the cops to have a gentleman removed from the building for accessing porn on the computers....we had an alarm go off over a weekend....and patrons complaining about some of the books I put up for display because they are called "Flush" and "Scat". Then there is the woman who day in and day out sits in the back of the library talking to her "Babe" either on her webcam or in PalTalk. Today...they were discussing her flying him here from some foreign country and them getting married...although they've never been in the same room or country for that matter. Ahhh yes...the joys of being a librarian. I should start writing a sitcom..."As the pages Turn"?

XoXo
Pandora

General Update

Hello Blogosphere....been a while since I've given an update. I've been a bad bad blogger! I haven't been blowing the world off....things have just been crazy. I've been working long hours and when I'm not at work, I'm exhausted from the lupus and/or sick. The kids of course have all of their activities...ROTC, band, music memory, basketball, track, debate, choir, baseball, ready writing and editorial writing. So....add that to an already full schedule and I guess I really do understand why I'm so tired all the time.

The job is going great....more on that to come in a follow-up blog. We spent the last two days moving books. We moved EVERY book in the library. It was quite the task. We did something called "weeding" which is pulling books in bad shape, out of date, or that just don't circulate. I didn't like the layout of the books so we totally redid it and made both a children's section and a teen section. I'm anxious to see what the patrons think when they get a look at the new place. It gives it a totally different vibe. Been doing a lot of training too. I really like the job...other than the city staff meetings and the city council meetings. Not so much my thing but, it's part of the job so I won't complain...much.

My health isn't as good as it had been there for a while. I've been really tired and noticing I'm having a lot more trouble getting around again. I'm trying to listen to my body and follow the cues it is sending but, it is hard to slow down when I see so many things I need to do. Hasn't helped that I can't shake this cold :( My hands are really sore from moving books. Still worth it though to make the place feel mine :)

The estate is still open and I'm feeling like it is NEVER going to be resolved. I would really like to start moving on and having some closure. It is hard to believe Mom has been gone for 6 months already. I miss her every single day. It is really hard when patrons check out Debbie McComber books. The worst though is going to the nursing home as part of our senior outreach and seeing all the people there. It reminds me so much of her time in rehab. I take a dog with me when we go so they all want to spend time with me. There are a few that get very excited to see me come. One is always telling me I remind him of his daughter whom I'm guessing he doesn't get to see much any more. I do pretty good until they start singing church hymns that both mom and dad really enjoyed - Amazing Grace, Old Rugged Cross and In the Garden. UGH!

Oh well....just wanted to try to catch up and still trying to do a better job of blogging regularly. Keep checking back - I promise I will do better :)

Sweet hugs,

Pandora

Okay.....that sucked!

So....I went to the school today...guns loaded and locked and ready to take on the world for lumping my daughter in with the kids who don't strive to do their best. I was ready for that counselor to put up a fight about changing her to track 1/calendar 1. I was already in a very bad mood because the boy child is pushing his luck....he may have to go visit Colorado Living for a while so I don't strangle him. The school was going to feel the wrath of momma bear protecting her cub. I walked in to the counselors office and told her my issue and gave her the paperwork to support what I was saying. I expected to hear how she couldn't do anything and instead I got...no problem. I will take care of this right away. You don't need to stay you can go on to work and I will call you when it is taken care of. WHAT?!? Nothing at that school has ever been that easy. The 1 day I wanted to be the crazy mom they ruined it for me damn it!! So, I thanked her...and trudged off to start my day at work very disappointed that I didn't get to have that emotional release I was looking for. To top it off...she called me not once but twice today to tell me she had worked it all out and J was on track 1 now. Guess I will have to save that rage for the attorney tomorrow who STILL hasn't resolved the estate issues.

Letting the rage stew!!

XoXo
Pandora :)

Time is Flying By

Wow, it is just days from February....the 1st month of 2010 is almost over. Seems like just yesterday we were saying goodbye to 2009. It has been a bit of a rollercoaster start to the year. I'm happy to be back to work...especially at a job that I really like for the most part. I like to stay on my side of the highway (all the other directors for the city are located across the highway from me). At least most of the staff don't think I'm going to fire them now. We had our first staff meeting this week and I tried to put all that speculation to rest. I'm content with how things are running...just trying to find my own footing.

I've found myself in a very weird place lately. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was told recently that I can't take anything on faith and sadly I must admit that's true. I've spent so much time in crisis control that I don't know how to be any other way than to expect the bottom to drop out at any moment. It would be nice to get to a point where I just stop waiting for that to happen.

I heard from an old ghost this week. Sadly, I don't think that ghost is ever going to go away. Things never change...same story...same emails....you'd think he would get tired of this little game but that is too much for a narcicist to do I guess. I can say how I react to him has sure changed. I don't go in to sheer panic mode near as much which is really kinda nice.

It has been so long since I've really engaged in the things I enjoy doing....like camping. It just seems that we can't get away. Between band concerts, debate tournaments, sports, homework, etc., we can't just rumble off into the night and enjoy being under the stars and that is 1 thing I will say for Texas...the stars at night really are big and bright.

Okay...so this post is a little bit of a ramble again...just finding it hard to engage but, want to keep writing so perhaps at some point those words will just flow again....until then

xoxo
Pandora

Common Sense....Not so Common

Okay....this post is a continuation on a theme lately I guess and one from the not so distant past. I really have issues with public schools and bureaucracy. Most of you are familiar with the whole "if your daughter doesn't pass this test we are going to send her back to 8th grade" BS that the school put J through at the beginning of the school year. She kicked ass on the test and was able to tell them I told you so. I was highly irritated at the time because they made assumptions about both myself and my child before they even spoke a word to us and realized we weren't the "typical" homeschool stereotype. Well, that ugly little assumption has raised its head again and I'm so not a happy camper. The schools do what they call "flex time". At the end of the year, if you've performed well on your TAKS test, passed all your classes, had good attendance, etc., you are allowed to finish school a week early - Calendar 1. If you haven't done these things, you have to attend 3 mandatory Saturday schools between now and the end of the year to prep for the TAKS, you aren't allowed to be exempted from any final exams, and you have to attend that week of school - Calendar 2. We received all three kids first semester report cards last week. I was very proud and happy to report that all 3 maintained all a's for the first semester in all classes and they are taking primarily honors courses. In fact, J did so well, she is getting a military ribbon in Jr. ROTC for academic achievement. So, you would think that all 3 kids would be on Calendar 1 right? WRONG! J got stuck on Calendar 2 and it is simply for no other reason that she was homeschooled last year. Being the bitchy mom that I am....I went to the school to have them explain to me just how my daughter is stuck taking Saturday school with kids in remedial classes and she is assigned to the Peer Tutoring program as a tutor. Does that sound like someone needing extra time in school to review for the TAKS? You would think that common sense would apply here right? WRONG! Apparently, common sense is really not common in the public school systems (or life I guess but today my rant is about the schools). So...not only have they sent these letters home and blindly made these assessments without looking at the whole picture/whole child. ....they sent ALL of the counselors and academic program staff to a training. So let me get this straight...you take all the people who can assist parents/students with this calendar 1/2 issue...and send them to a training right when you send these letters home and parents will have questions and want to resolve them? Wow, what mental giant decided that?!? I am so happy I wasted my morning at the school only to be told that no one on staff can help me....not even the Freshman principal because this isn't up to him it is up to someone that reports to him?!? Start the bail fund now....because I'm NOT sending her to Saturday school. She shouldn't be punished for being an intelligent young lady who kicks ass at everything she takes on...including their stupid rules.

Protective Pandora wishing you a happier day!

XoXo

Playing the Game in the Good Ol' Boy Network

So....these last few weeks at work have been a real eye opener. I knew Texas was still WAY behind on women's equality but, I didn't realize just how far behind. I've been to a few staff meetings lately and I'm always greeted with..."Didn't you get the memo....you're supposed to FIX us breakfast". It is never bring breakfast....it is "fix" breakfast. So today....I'm fixing breakfast. Keep in mind that these men are baby boomers and aren't quite sure what to make of me anyway just yet. Given their ages though, I thought it only appropriate to "fix" them a healthy breakfast that would be good for them...so Cheerios for their cholesterol and 2% milk it is! It will be interesting today at staff meeting to see if I'm asked to fix breakfast any more :)

On a more serious note....this is just a little taste of what has gone on. I did some research and realized that all the directorships held by men make no kidding you $20K more a year. It isn't that they have been here longer....or that they have a lot more responsibility. Those same positions all received $5K pay raises this fiscal year. You can bet I stood up and took notice. I'm not addressing this just yet....I'm learning how to play on their playing field but, if they thought I was some sweet young lady who would be walked on and know my role...wow were they ever wrong.

I am woman...I am Pandora...hear me roar >^..^<

xoxo

Raising a Generation of Entitlement

Okay....so my blogs have been sort of random and without much direction lately because I haven't felt any real passion about anything. Well....today that changed.

My daughter works very hard at school. She completes all of her assignments on time and goes above and beyond what is asked of her to do. She is in all Pre-AP classes (honors classes for those of you unfamiliar with the education system). She plays sports and she competes in academic events for the school. She was crushed tonight when she got a single bad grade that killed her average. Now, I keep telling her it is not a big deal. It is the 1st week of the 9 weeks and she has plenty of time to kick that grade up but, I'm certain she is upstairs crying her eyes out as she showers because they were about to start flowing when she left the room. Bet you think I'm going to whine about the teacher right? Wrong!
I'm going to bitch about the parents that do their kids homework for them. She said to me, "Now K and M are going to tease me even more that they have a better grade than me." I made mention to her that "K's" mom is an algebra teacher so of course she is probably pretty good at math. I was a little surprised when the response I got was, "Her mom does her homework for her." Nope, don't think I'm overreacting here and that there aren't parents out there who do this for their kids....because I have had 6....yes 6 emails and letters sent home in A's class telling asking parents to quit sending in their kids homework in the parent's handwriting. That the kids need to do their homework themselves. Wow, how sad is it that we are doing our kids homework for them.
I read an email exchange between a parent and a teacher today where the parent is complaining because the kid didn't get a "review" prior to the test. What the kid failed to tell the parent was not only did he get a review they were given class time to study and he opted not to. He even got the opportunity to make corrections to raise the miserable grade he got and the mom is still bitching.
We have all these parents who when little Johnny ends up failing out of school or failing in life sit back and wonder...where did I go wrong? They wonder why their kid is so disrespectful when they get in to high school or feel the world owes them and they are never wrong. Well DUH!!! We are raising a generation of entitlement. They aren't generation Y or Z any longer unless you rearrange those letters and put them with an LA in front!
I would much rather my child earn her bad grade than have me do her work for her and I earn her good grade....but I guess I'm not the typical parent these days. So....as I hug her goodnight tonight, I will tell her again how proud I am of her for doing her OWN work....and being active in her school and being the best kid she knows how to be....other than I really wish she would exchange those friends but...that's a lesson for another day.

*side note....I really don't think she got the grade she did anyway..I think it is a major typo in the computer gradebook but none the less....I'm not going to blame the teacher....just let R figure this out for herself.

A parent entitled to be pissed off!

Pandora

Stop the Ride, I want to get off...

Well, isn't life a carnival ride? I've noticed recently just how busy I've been and I can't decide if that is good or bad. I was putting together my "work" calendar today. Over the course of the next 10-12 weeks I have about 8 -10 trainings! The good thing is most of these are webinars or self-paced courses....I love those :) There wasn't much "white" space left on the calendar when I got done though...and I haven't even put in the "home" stuff yet. The kids are keeping me jumping and running all the time...between basketball, music memory, rotc, debate, and all the other 900 things they have to be at school for either early or late I'm living at the library or the parking lot of the school.
So am I the only one that is stopping myself to say when does life slow down? I don't want to get back in to the same rut I was in before my mom passed away....all work and no play. I want to be able to enjoy life a little because if mom's death has taught me 1 thing it is that life is way too short not to do the things you love. I do have to say this....I really like my job. It is nice being able to actually do something where I'm appreciated. It makes the 10 hour days worth it right now :) I just want to make sure I find the right balance for myself and my family.
I don't mean to sound like I'm whining because believe me....I'm so thankful in this economy to have a job that I really like to go to every morning...even if they still call me "interim" ( Must admit that is still causing a twinge of anxiety...I will be so happy when they take that little word off there.). I just don't want to set an example for my kids that says working is all there is to life. I want them to be able to enjoy what life has to offer and realize working is what we do to afford the pleasures in life that make it worth living...but not lose sight of the beautiful things life offers us for free....like all you people who read my blog that I adore!

Okay....I'm just rambling now but, felt the need to try to blog something worth reading :)

Wishing you bliss
XoXo
Pandora

Employment is sooooo GOOD!!!

Okay, so tomorrow is my first "official" day on the job. I am very excited!! I went to a training today and who woulda thunk that fixing books could be so much damn fun!!!!!! I actually went to a training where I learned something that I think I would really like to try my hand at...so next time your spine is breaking or your tunnel is jammed or your signature comes undone just give me a ring and I will step you through putting that puppy back together :)
It is a little funny I have to admit....the younger staff absolutely love me. The older staff aren't sure just what to make of me yet :) I'm a little "techy" for them. I am anxious to jump in and actually make the place my own. I think there are so many cool things that can happen. It has been a very long time since I was this excited about an adventure and that is definetly what this is going to be...an adventure. I'm just hoping to avoid the small town politics as much as possible. Wish me luck!!!

Hugs & Kisses
Pandora

2010 Handbook

This was sent to me and I thought I would post it here. We can all find something in this handbook to work on. Peace & harmony xoxo

2010 HANDBOOK

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Tell people that you care... I just did.

Avatar

I rarely post about movies or things that I watch...but, I'm wondering if any of you have seen Avatar? I went with a group of 30 of my closest friends...okay well not closest but, 30 people none the less. We watched the movie in 3D. I must tell you, normally I'm not sure these types of movies are really my cup of tea. I was stunned and amazed at the sheer beauty of the movie and the planet Pandora....ironic isn't it...the name of the planet is Pandora. If you haven't seen the movie...I'm not going to spoil it for you here but, I wanted to take a minute to highly recommend you see it and to check all your preconceived notions at the door when you do. It might open up a whole new realm of thinking for you....it did for me.

Signing off from planet Pandora...

xOxO

Pandora

Welcome 2010....

Okay...so it is already 2010. The holidays are a blur. One minute it is Thanksgiving and the next I am taking down Christmas lights and the tree. The holidays are always a tough time of year for me and this year was no exception. It is the first time in 38 years that I didn't spend New Year's Eve with my Mom. That is a lot of ball dropping. I spent New Year's eve this year standing outside under the blue moon at the stroke of midnight staring up at the stars and feeling the cold bite of the wind on my face wondering what the new year held for me and remembering where I was at that moment the year before....standing outside in Colorado watching for fireworks over Pike's Peak.
I really hope that 2010 holds some peace and closure for me. The job hunt is hopefully winding down. I think I might actually know something in the next week or so...everyone keep their fingers crossed for me. I think I might be able to have my mom's estate closer to being settled...but not holding my breath since it has fallen through so many times recently. I'm ready to move on completely from the old job and close those doors. I'm not going to burn the bridges...at least not all of them but, the connection I thought I would continue to feel seems just a little twinge of what I thought it would be. I'm ready to move on....about a lot of things apparently.
I hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas this year and if not you have permission to go and get it for yourself! I hope 2010 brings you all blessings and happiness. Keep reading...I hope to be back to my witty self in the near future.

XoXo
Pandora