When did common sense become so uncommon?

Ever been in a room surrounded by people who function in society and the real world - and realize you are the only adult in the room? What happened to good old fashioned common sense? It isn't as common as it used to be. I meet a lot of people who are highly intelligent and book smart people but who couldn't find their way out of a paper bag with directions. Maybe it is just me, perhaps I just attract these people like moths to a flame. Maybe I need to add more chlorine to the gene pool around me. Sometimes it feels I'm drowning in stupidity. It isn't just the people I know directly - look at our legislators.

Here's a perfect example - the governor of Texas Rick Perry is an idiot. Diesel emissions contain PM 2.5 which is bad for people - especially those with sensitive airways to breathe. The Texas legislature did something proactive to protect our children - they passed a law to stop diesel bus idling in school zones which not only sick children are exposed to but also the well children and the school staff. This was an unfunded mandate but it cost NOTHING to do. In his infinite wisdom, Governor Perry vetoed the bill. I hear Bill Ingval in my head saying "here's your sign". Governor Perry felt it should be left to each district to implement on their own. Well duh! If they were already doing it on their own we wouldn't need a law to force them now would we?!? Again, where was the common sense?

Common sense is a commodity that is missed. Perhaps if a few more people showed a little more we wouldn't be in the situation we are in in the US. But, what do I know, I'm just little old me typing in this little old box.




xoxo
Pandora

Oh nooooo....say it ain't so....OU TO GO?!?!?

Well, the Bullshit College System strikes again. I am sad, stunned and amazed at how broken the college system really is. How can a team that lost heads up go to the championship game over my horns?!? On top of that - it is OU. I challenge you all to go back and review the schedules. Texas had a much tougher schedule and not even that played in to our favor.

I know I am biased but, it is past time that we look at a playoff system in the college football game. We have it in basketball - we have it in baseball - why should football be any different?? I don't know who set up the Big XII tie breaker system but I would like to know if they were locked in a room with Ricky Williams smoking dope when they did it! Even the SEC has a better tie breaker system and that is just scary since they are the backwoods conference and you only have a full set of teeth when you get all their cheerleaders in one room.

I guess I will be a big Mizzou fan next week. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIGERS!

An Open Letter to President-Elect Obama and My Thoughts

I came across this interesting open letter to President-Elect Obama and you know me...I can't just let some things go sometimes...so...I am including both the letter and my thoughts. My thoughts - are in italics....

To President-Elect Barack Obama

Dear Sir,

Congratulations on your election as our 44th President.

I will be up front by saying that I did not vote for you. Bearing that in mind, I will not turn this into some ill conceived mantra about parties or experience. At this point, that is a moot discussion. You have won the election, so it is time to look forward.

While you profess to look forward you are holding a man accountable for the things that have happened in the past. He isn't even "officially" in the office yet and you hold him to a standard that you've let your candidate for the last 8 years skate by with.

I am writing, because I think that government officials are there to serve the people they govern, not the other way around. I believe that I have a right for my voice to be heard; my concerns addressed. I believe I have the right to speak, man to man, to my president.

You speak of civil liberties and rights yet your party doesn't want to let me as a woman control my own body. I believe I have a right woman to man to tell men to back up off me and let me do what I want with my body. I believe government officials are there to serve the people they govern and it is unfortunate that your party has wrapped itself in a shroud of a mythical being and they serve him before they serve our country. They wrap themselves in the flag and the bible and call it governing for the people, yet it isn't their job to decide my morals and ethics.

I am no 'Joe the Plumber.' I am 47, live in the Midwest and manage my family's business. I am an average citizen. I have traditionally voted with a conservative republican slant. I have to say, at this point, I feel betrayed by both parties. To the point that I am giving up my party affiliations and am becoming a declared Independent.

This letter is about as independent as I am virginous. And "Joe the Plumber" isn't even "Joe the Plumber".

President-Elect Obama, I am also a parent. I have a 19 year old son that will be graduating from recruit training at Fort Sill, Oklahoma this weekend. My son will be spending three years serving in an army that will look to you for leadership. I would ask that you always remember that the soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines under your command are not just id numbers or numbers to be used to fill force readiness reports. They are husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers. They are all volunteers. Use those men and women to safeguard our national good. Please do not waste their lives. I am putting my son's life in your hands. I expect you to give him back. If fate determines that you cannot, search your soul and make sure that he and his brothers and sisters have not died in vain.

As a veteran of Reagan's military, I understand that conflicts happen. They happen and sometimes, you just can't walk away from them. Fight those conflicts. Fight them intelligently and well. Then bring my son home to me.

I commend the service that you and your family have given to our country - I too come from a family who served in the armed forces. It is unfortunate you and your fellow conservative Republicans didn't feel the need to ask for these men and women not to be id numbers in a war that was fought simply over a disdain for a man and his hatred of our current presidents father. While I agree both parties are to blame, it is the current commander in chief that has us fighting on two fronts and has alienated our long time allies in the process. President-Elect Obama has already committed to reaching out to even our foes and trying to find diplomatic resolutions and stopping the shed of American blood on foreign shores.


As I said earlier, I manage my family's business. A small family run grocery store that serves a community of less than 1500 people. Over the past few months, I have listened to captains of industry come and beg for money, because it's "Just too expensive to do business in this economic climate." It strikes me that there has been a vast amount of fiscal irresponsibility and downright greed. I have heard automakers complain they can't do business. It has been a hallmark of American business to be flexible and responsive to the economic climate and the wants of it's customers. The automakers have seen and chosen to ignore new technology that would have made them far more competitive, yet instead, they flooded the market with vehicles that people increasingly didn't want. Now they want American tax dollars to bail them out. I ask you, Sir, would the government be willing to bail out my grocery store? No, and they would be correct not to do so, because it is my job to make good decisions for my business. Are we any more correct to do so for bigger businesses because they employ more people? They are still called to make the same kinds of choices that I am. They still need to be good businessmen. You, as our President, must ask yourself "Are we rewarding bad choices? Greedy behavior?" So I ask you, Sir, think hard before putting my tax dollars to such use. Once done, it sets a precedence that can't be undone.

Again, it is your lame duck president who is bailing out big business. President-Elect Obama has little to do with what is going on currently and has even issued a challenge to America's automakers and making their receipt of funds dependent on them changing their business practice. I agree that more needs to happen for middle America, for Mom and Pop Mainstreet and that is what President-Elect Obama ran his campaign on and yet you chose to vote for a man who wanted to give larger tax breaks to the companies you want us to think twice before bailing out. That smacks of a double standard by which you hold these candidates to.


Finally, President-Elect Obama, I would ask you to consider the repercussions to our country before speaking for amnesty for illegal immigrants. I keep hearing that unemployment could rise to 8%. How can amnesty help that number? President Bush has said that there are some jobs Americans just will not do. If that is the case, we should be ashamed of ourselves. If such work needs to be done cheaply, wouldn't it be more reasonable to use prison inmates for things like agricultural fieldwork? As most of the illegal immigrants are Mexican, is it not the responsibility of the Mexican government to improve conditions for their own people and not leave it to America? What would the world say if we were to engage in that kind of behavior?

There is also a need to control our boarders to keep out those that would try to use the US/Mexican boarder as an avenue to enter the United States and do us ill. 9/11 was a wake up call for the United States, but it is a call that we have forgotten. Please, Sir, keep my countrymen safe.

We have multiple borders - not just the Mexican border that needs safeguarding. Yet, your lame duck president wants to build a fence to keep illegals out?!? While I question the amnesty thing - I also realize it would take billions of dollars to round up all the illegals that are here and return them to their homeland. What happened to send us your hungry and poor? We have always been a country of immigrants and perhaps we need to go back to that policy instead of being controlled by fear. It is time to start a new and find new ways to deal with our problems instead of throwing millions to a fence that will be as useless as the Berlin Wall in the late years. You are all about Reagan and his policies and wasn't he the man who challenged Russia to tear down the wall? We can't become a country of isolationism. I agree that we need to find new ways to reduce our unemployment. I also agree we should use inmates and even welfare recipients - turn the system into workfare instead to do those jobs that "most Americans just won't do".

Sir, as I've said, I did not vote for you, and I see dark times ahead for our country. Man to man, I ask you to consider carefully your actions over the next four years. I didn't like a lot of the things you had to say over the course of the campaign. Please, Sir, prove me wrong.

While I commend you issuing this challenge to MY president, I regret that you didn't hold your president as accountable and perhaps we wouldn't be in the financial crisis we are currently in. Perhaps we wouldn't have alienated so many of our allies along the way when we were trying to "liberate" Iraq. Perhaps North Korea would still be willing to discuss the nukes they have. Perhaps we would still be operating in a budget surplus instead of a defecit that our children will be paying off for years. I commend you for finally stepping up and holding someone accountable, I fear it is just too late.

Perhaps instead of being so adversarial to our new President-Elect, you should consider being more supportive and instead of issuing a challenge asking him to prove you wrong, you should be more supportive and work harder to take ownership in your community to prove him right - that we can still be a country built of the people, by the people and for the people - so while you challenge president-elect Obama, I challenge you.

Life in an Alcoholic Family

Hi....I'm Pandora....and I'm the child of an alcoholic. I spend a lot of time reflecting on what makes us who we are and what drives the choices we make. It both amazes and baffles me how much our childhood impacts us as adults. I am the youngest of 7 children and there is a significant age gap between me and the other 6 siblings. It was almost like being an only child at times. It is hard to grow up the only child in a family of 7. Most of you also know that I'm a rape survivor, so I've spent my fair share of time in therapy analyzing what put me in a position to be a "victim". As part of that I've spent time looking at addiction and the dynamics of a family who is embroiled in addiction. I am certain that has played a major role in my being a co-dependent and it has impacted some of my siblings in that way as well. I don't think the people who are the addicts realize the impact they have on those around them. They are oblivious to the fact that they put us in a position, especially if they are the parent, to become the parent. The family becomes so enmeshed in drama that even when the addiction comes to an end without years of treatment and therapy, it perpetuates throughout our adulthood often without us even knowing it. I see people around me, people that I love dearly, who couldn't survive without the continuation of the drama. They don't understand it, they don't see it or they just don't know any other way. It is hard when you want to change and break that pattern but, you don't want to break ties with those you love. It is a fine line and a tightrope to walk.

Growing up, I had a very different childhood than my other siblings. The father I knew was very different than the father they knew. The abusive drunk was someone else, I knew the man that was a kinder gentler drunk. I spent my early childhood sitting on the bar eating peanuts and playing with pool balls. I have siblings that resent the fact that I wasn't a part of the violence and mayhem that they knew. While I empathize with them, that isn't my fault nor my choice. While I missed out on the harder times, I also missed out on the bonding and family sharing that they knew growing up. I've spent a lifetime trying to make it up to them but, I've learned that it isn't my fault nor something I can ever make up. We can't go back and change time, we can't be who others want us to be. We are who we are and if people can't find a way to accept that, then at some point we have to set our own boundaries and learn to enforce them. I struggle with that enforcement. While I regret what they went through, that doesn't mean that it didn't impact me any less. The dynamics of an addicted family are always the same and as adults, eventually we choose to repeat the mistakes by surrounding ourself with people who perpetuate the chaos because it is what we know or we decide to end the cycle. I for one am choosing to no longer be a part of the cycle. My children deserve better than that. I deserve better than that.

I love my family and my parents and this post is in no way meant to criticize or demean anyone. It is to simply taking ownership and find my voice about this situation. It is why I started this blog to begin with. Perhaps if I can find the strength to share my experiences, then someone out there will find the strength to conquer their inner demons. To thine own self be true and if I didn't share this experience I wouldn't be true to myself.

More on this topic to come....

Thankfullness

We all spend a lot of time complaining about this or that. I know I'm very guilty of that. But, as I look over the last few weeks, even though I've hit some all time lows with loss of pets, etc., I have a great deal to be thankful for and just wanted to take a minute or two to remind myself and those around me that I am thankful for my blessings.

I'm thankful for my pets - who surround me with unconditional love. They comfort me when I'm down and warm my body and soul like nothing or no one else can.

I'm thankful for my children - who are all happy, healthy, and well adjusted - even with a mom like me! They are exceptionally bright and make home schooling them very easy to do. I appreciate that they are well balanced and I know where they stand on things. They are independent thinkers and have a good value system.

I'm thankful for those that love me and care about me - my family and my friends. I always know that out there when I need it most there is someone who will pick up the other end of the line and just listen or pick me up when I need someone to lift my spirits.

I'm thankful that despite my health issues and the uncertainty with them, I'm still here and kicking. I have faith that at some point in the coming weeks - someone out there will figure it all out.

I'm thankful that my mom who faced kidney cancer can now say she is a cancer survivor. As quickly as it came on and was discovered, it was taken out. Things could have been so much worse but, she discovered it early and it was contained and that is a huge blessing.

Most of all, I'm thankful for all of you - those that come here and read what I have to say and make it feel like it matters - that what I think, feel and believe matters to someone out there.

xoxo

Pandora

BCS - Bullshit College System

Well we all know that I'm a huge sports fan. I follow college football - not just the Big XII but all college football conferences. It is time for a fair playoff system at the college level. I'm tired of it being a popularity conference - not just because UT is probably going to get screwed out of a BCS championship game...again. I want to see more football and I want to see it be about football and not popularity and who is the flavor of the week. I admit - I'm very biased but look at the Big XII this season for instance. We will probably end up with a 3 way tie for the Bix XII South championship. The team that wins the division will be the team with the highest ranking in the BCS rankings. There are 3 parts to the BCS rankings - the computers who judge on "style" points, strength of schedule, and some other things. Then you have the AP poll who is based on the experts that look at the whole spectrum - not just one conference or another - they watch all the games for each weekend - leaves some subjectivity to the rankings. Then there is the Coaches' Poll - talk about a popularity conference. It is who did what for me last in that one. It doesn't matter that Texas faced 4 top 10 teams in 4 weeks and lost in the last 3 seconds in the last game of that stretch. The thing they remember last is that Oklahoma beat up on Tech who was the team we lost to in the final seconds of that game. Oklahoma has had an easier schedule but because their "big" win came at the end of the season - they will get the "style" points even after we beat them head to head! Then there are teams out there with 1 loss like these Big XII teams, who are in the running based on their reputation only - like USC (University of Spoiled Children) and Florida - seriously - who has Florida really faced this year?!? We have teams that have to play an extra game a year and have a championship game for their conference and others who don't have the risk of that loss going to their record.

If Bama goes undefeated go ahead and put them in the championship bowl game but, if they lose lets see a Big XII rematch - Texas vs. Oklahoma - nothing says we can't have 2 Big XII teams in the championship other than voters who are too closed minded to think outside their little box. Until we have a playoff system, we will still be forced to deal with this bullshit college system that leaves way too much up to subjective opinion and not to who is most deserving of the opportunity to play in the big game.

I've Grown Up....Some

Well, mom is home safe and sound. I'm amazed at how quickly she was released. She is 74 years old and just lost a vital organ but hey, lets send her home 36 hours later! I'm happy to volunteer to help her the next week or two to get back on her feet and well on her way to recovery. It isn't always the easiest task to take care of loved ones. I'm surprised how many times I've seen the "bird" flying so freely around her house!

I know every family has its own dynamics but, I must tell you that I am just starting to fully understand the dynamics in mine. I'm actually a little proud of myself if I do say so myself. A certain family member is busting my chops. I do absolutely nothing correctly in her opinion when it comes to the care of my mother and she has no problem expressing that. Normally, that would prompt a fit of outrage after some time of festering and building up and an explosion on my part that just leads to her feeling happy and successful in her pushing my buttons. But not this time. I've finally grown up...or I'm just too tired and numb after the last weeks events to care any more. She is trying to jump up and down on the big red button but I guess it is broken cause I'm just not in to the reacting over it. So here is a shout out to myself and a yeah me for realizing that you can be 54 and still act like a childish teen and at 37 you really can finally grow up.

Warm fuzzy hugs for the world and for myself

At a Loss for Words

Losing someone or something you care about is always a traumatic event. Some people I know and care about have recently lost animals they've had in their lives for long periods of time and I understand the pain they feel about it. I totally understand the heartache associated with the loss of an unconditional love.

I wanted to share a recent experience. After a long day of thinking April was doing well, I was shocked to find out that she was not doing well and in fact in great pain and bleeding in to her stomach. I traveled to the vet to say goodbye to someone I've known longer than my husband. I was sad and my heart was breaking. I was talking to the vet - a great equine vet I want to mention - and he was explaining the situation to me through his perspective. At the time, I was more focused on April and spending time with her and half-heartedly listening to him in the background. He stressed how "If April was a valuable mare or had worth as breeding stock then he could see spending the $6-7K to operate but at her age and since she wasn't valuable he didn't see the point or worth". In my sadness and the heartache of the moment, I didn't respond but the more I think about it the more I get pissed off at the fact that to him because she was simply a family pet - a mare who was 26 years old she had no value and to me - she is absolutely priceless. To most people she was probably just a mare but to those of us blessed with the capability to love outside our species you can't put a price on that kind of unconditional love. I'm sad to see that someone who is entrusted with the care of our loved ones can be that business like and calculated with them. So, I'm sad and angry and just not really sure how to handle it. Do I really want someone that can be so cold in one of my worst times of need to care for my remaining pets? Doc Louie is great as a diagnostician but his bedside manner leaves something to be greatly desired.

Again, I think this goes to reflect just how as a society we have grown to devalue life so much on all levels. It is sad that even those we trust the most to care about those the most vulnerable see them simply as dollars and cents.

A still very heartbroken Pandora wishing the world was just a little kinder
XoXo

Another Healthcare Rant

Okay, so my mom is in a military hospital that at one time was the jewel in the crown of the air force training facilities. It no longer is that sparkling jewel. The building is showing its age and with all the BRAC changes it is no longer a teaching hospital. While the majority of doctors at the facility are still Air Force Physicians - the support staff - primarily the nurses are contract labor and boy does it show. While the majority of the patients now seen at this facility are basic trainees and retired military and their dependents, there are still some active duty that are seen here and the quality of care received on the floors is atrocious. I've had the pleasure....or displeasure of spending several days on the wards the last few weeks and the nursing staff and the medical assistants are slow to respond, often not very polite or sociable, and don't even follow their own protocol for their patients. If my mom is a fall risk and you have her tagged that way, then when she needs to use the ladies room you don't make a 74 year old woman wait 15 minutes and finally respond when we set off the bed alarm because I got her up to take her. Me being my charming self had to let the charge nurse tonight know exactly how I felt. After spending the day with my mom - her in pain - 4 hours out of a kidney removal surgery - left sitting in a chair for 4 1/2 hours and having to ask repeatedly to be helped back to her bed, it took me being bitchy to get it done. But I tell you what - at 2000 hours - that charge nurse had her snotty self in there telling me visiting hours were over. I was left with no choice but to tell her it was unfortunate they didn't spend as much time tending to their patient's needs as they did running my ass out at the end of visiting hours. I don't know why they do that anyway since the whole time I'm there I do their job! She didn't care for my attitude .

If no one speaks up - we will never put the care back in to healthcare.

Again, a tired and somewhat beaten up Pandora is wishing you the best. Pet your significant others and hug your pets.

xoxo

Pandora

I don't do waiting well....

So, here we sit waiting on our Mom to have her surgery. This has been a whirlwind. We went from flu like symptoms to you have kidney cancer and we are taking your kidney out in the blink of an eye. I thought until last night that I was just comfortably numb. There has been so much heaped upon my plate lately - Stalker X, my own health issues, Mom and then last night loosing April - well, I'm no longer comfortable and definitely no longer numb. I see more and more happening around me and feel like I'm in a spiral slipping down and away. I hear it is darkest before the dawn and I try to hold on to faith that I won't have more thrown at me than I can handle. I hope that is true because right now, I feel very inadequate to handle all these things. I'm just a blip on the radar of the universe.

Again, I'm surrounded by people yet feel so alone. I wish I could take down the wall and say that I really need support and help but, that's just not who I am so I will continue to to muddle through and hold on to what little faith I have left.

In the meantime....I will sit here and wait for them to tell me surgery is over and Mom is in her room waiting to hear that her job right now is nothing more than to "smile and wave boys."

A very heartbroken Pandora wishing the world a happier day than I'm having.

XoXo

The Loss of a Friend

Last night, I had to put down one of my very best friends in the world. She grew up with me. People come and go in our lives and too often we take them for granted. When something or someone becomes hard, we tend to find them disposable or make excuses why they aren't in our lives. I find a great comfort in my animals. I surround myself with them because they have always been who I can depend on. No matter my mood, the day, how long it had been since I had showed them love last, they have always stood by me and April was no exception. She was a gift from my dad and I grew up with her. She had been an integral part of my life for 24 years. That is longer than most marriages in this day and age. She raised me and instilled in me my love for horses. I will never have another horse like her. She was abused as a young filly - beaten by her trainers because she wasn't running fast enough. She was a descendant of Man of War and in her final race to the end of life she showed every bit of poise and grace. In fact, although she was in a great deal of pain those last few minutes, she stood stoically and allowed me to love her and tell her my goodbyes. She never took it out on me because humans had been so unforgiving to her. She had a huge heart. She started my children on their path to be horse lovers. As much as my heart aches - and I'm sure it will for a very long time - one of the hardest things I had to do was tell my children and know that they felt the same ache I did and as a parent there was nothing I could do to stop that pain for them. You pay a price for that kind of love when it leaves this earth and moves to another plane. But, we will all regroup, and continue to love and share of ourselves because it wouldn't do her justice to stop loving just because she is no longer here. So to one of my very best friends, my "Mom", I bid you farewell for now and hope that you run wild and free in the meadow of your dreams. I love you and will always be grateful for what you have given to me.

A True Conundrum

So, most of you know I have a stalker who I call stalker X. Without going in to a lot of the history at this time because I'm just not ready to do that, let me just say that Stalker X has resurfaced with a vengeance. I get several text messages, emails and even phone calls from him. I've tried very hard to find ways to get myself out of this situation without asking for help because for one that is just really hard for me to do. Additionally, what everyone wants to seem to tell me is that I need to seek legal help and for various reasons I don't see that as a viable option. So, I feel rather trapped in this conundrum.

I was recently asked what the pay off for me is - what do I get out of not trying harder to put a stop to his unwanted attention. So I thought about this long and hard and there is no pay off for me other than I keep my bubble around me - even if it is just an illusion I feel like I have some control over things. If I limit it to emails then I don't have to hear his voice, if it is text messages, then again, it is still just words on a screen. When I ignore those long enough it escalates into phone calls from phone numbers I don't know so I'm back to monitoring my calls. It is all so easy for everyone on the outside looking in to tell me what I need to do - file a restraining order, change your number, block his emails. It just doesn't work that way. Think about our legal system and how inadequate it is in protecting women from abusive men. How many times have we all heard about the man that walks through the protective order and kills his girlfriend or wife? Sure, it is a nice piece of paper that will show to the court system later that he was a threat to me but, what good does that do me when I'm a cold corpse in a morgue somewhere? It won't be worth the paper it is written on. So my pay off is the illusion of some control - I can keep from having to see him in person. I can hide in my fear and denial and not have to face all of the reality of the situation.

I wish I had faith in the legal system to protect me but, my experience with the system is anything but protective - especially in this backwards thinking state. I wish I had the strength that everyone wants me to have to confront this situation head on but, sadly I don't. I have to pick and choose my battles. I'm not ready to take this battle on. I'm not physically or mentally strong enough. So I spend my time shrouded in fear and denial waiting on the other shoe to drop and while it isn't a healthy way to live right now it is how I live and that is the best I have to offer right now.

Stalker X is now single too - so he has put on the full court press. At some point, I will find my breaking point and meet him head on. I just hope when that day comes it is on my terms and not his. So while I appreciate all the offers and the suggestions on how to handle the situation, I hope everyone reading this understands I'm just not there - a part of me has never left Atlanta and I'm not sure it ever will.

Now I know why they call it "practicing" medicine.....

because most of them have no clue what they are doing! So, after weeks of waiting I saw both my doctors in the last two days and guess what I now know about my condition - nothing more than I knew before I went!!!! I am so discouraged with the healthcare system. I'm tired of being poked and prodded and being no further along than I was before I started all this.

So I followed up on the mass on the ovary that they found. The doctor I saw was great - she was social and seemed really thorough. Unfortunately, she doesn't like CT scans of ovaries she wants an ultrasound - oh goodie another test! Too bad she only uses a certain ultrasound technician and too bad she wants to see me the same day I get the test because that means I wait until December 11th to get that done. That just makes it 3 months since the mass was found before someone else takes a more "in depth" look at it.

Then I saw the other doctor - Dr. D. While I really like Dr. D as a person, she is starting to really piss me off. I spent 3 hours at her office for her to pat me on my head and send me on my way with no more information than I had when I walked in the door. She did no blood work to verify if my titers had gone down or up or leveled off. She still is telling me it is the Epstein Barr Virus - you know...the one that lasts 4-6 weeks but I'm going on 15 weeks now. She gave me some medicine that is "like drinking 10 cups of coffee all at once without the other side effects of coffee". Ummm what does that even mean?!? So she wants to see me back in 4 weeks again. There is still nothing for the joint pain - and the mass on my neck is still there. You know...the mass that has had 2 ultrasounds saying it is enlarged lymph nodes - even had a needle biopsy saying it was reactive lymph nodes but now her magic fingers say it is just a soft tissue mass and her xray vision says it is nothing to be concerned about.

In healthcare and health advocacy, we preach early detection and early treatment. Most diseases and conditions can be well managed and even cured with early detection and treatment. I've done what patients are supposed to do and we are going in to December and I still know nothing more than I did. Yes, I'm fed up and tired and ready to feel better but, I'm running out of options as to where to find those answers.

Again, there is no care in healthcare any longer.

I'm sad to see just how far we have slipped. I wonder if I didn't have good health insurance if I would still be getting the run around I'm getting now....no wait....I'd be dead.

Game Day

Okay, been a few days since I've posted again but, I'm back in time for GAME DAY! Just a quick

HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!!!

And, I'm off to bed....more to come later.

xoxo

Pandora

The Day After the Day After

This is a response to an email I received that I thought I would share with the readers of my blog. I will ask the original writer if I can post his original thoughts so this might make more sense but I hope you understand the larger part of this writing.



The day after the day after I still hold the belief that no matter what party is in control in Washington, the difference to me is still negligible. Agreed, it isn't to say that it doesn't matter because how our government is run does impact and influence our opportunity for success or failure but, we as citizens are in control of our own fates/destiny. The day after the day after - that hasn't changed. We make the choices of who we put in office and we continue to put the same people back in positions to change and shape not only our future but those of our children. So we are to blame for the whole lot of them and not just the 1 who occupies the oval office.

For those of us that supported Obama, we still hold our optimism that it can't be status quo. The day after the day after, I have no trouble swallowing my choice. I still believe that there are people in the world that want the greater good for our country and our world. This election inspired people and brought more people to the polls. For the first time in a very long time, the apathy that has engulfed our country was overrun by an inspiration to bring about change and that was from both camps. The world stood still for the first time since 9/11 and watched America to see how we would deal with our latest crisis (both the financial crisis and the crisis of our position as being seen as a world leader and not a world bully). The day after the day after - the world's opinion of America changed for the better for the first time since our occupation of Iraq. (Yes, I support our troops wholeheartedly and for those that read my blog, you will know that I thank them and my children thank them every opportunity we get. But, I would rather the tax dollars that continue to bleed us dry supporting a country that should be rebuilding on it's own should be going to change our infrastructure and our school systems that are shaping our future leaders.)

One of the mantras of change was ending the partisan bickering of Washington. You show me a politician who hasn't shown his ass so to speak at some point in his career and said something stupid or been misquoted and I will show you a politician who isn't elected or is out of office. When you have republican congressional candidates running ads that tout their ability to work with Obama before the vote even took place, that shows a hope that there will be a reaching across the aisle so the day after the day after, I highly doubt that there won't be some bipartisanship that can achieve great things for our country.

The day after the day after - I am truly scared for all of our children. That has nothing to do with the person who is in the oval office but, more to do with the polarization our country still faces. We aren't a two party system as we once were - we aren't republicans and democrats - we are conservatives and liberals. The middle ground which most of us walk upon is lost by these polarizing forces who because they speak the loudest get the most attention. While a person's acquaintances do reflect on the person, the fact that a person can hold on to their own beliefs and still respect the beliefs off those who differ from them speaks more to me about his ability to see both sides of an argument and draw from both points of view to do what is best for our country and the world. At least his acquaintances are also real and not fictional characters like Joe the Plumber. Yes, I know many feel I'm a card carrying liberal but the truth be told I'm a middle of the road independent who strongly believes in right and wrong, ethics and morals but not those that one party or the other says is right for me, not those that my church or synagogue says is right for me but those that are based on my own belief system say are right for me.

What the hell was I thinking he asks - I was thinking this - all political figures have questionable associations - McCain was tied to John Hagee who being local we all know is a zealot which I've witnessed first hand having come from that school. You didn't mention Rashid Khalidi - a controversial man that both candidates had a relationship with. Not to mention, he chose a running mate whose husband belongs to an organization that wants to secede from the country. Those who live in glass houses shouldn't cast stones.

I was thinking that abortion - even late term abortion is a moral and ethical issue and not a political issue that I don't want my government to control. You fire shots at Obama as a socialist, Marxist, communist - yet telling someone what to do with their own body couldn't be any more of those things. When men acquire the ability to have children, lets discuss this topic further - until then it is my body and my choice and as I've stated in my blog, it wouldn't be a choice I would make but it is one I wouldn't deny another woman. Perhaps if someone was teaching our children sex education then we would decrease the amount of unwanted pregnancies that end in abortion. We say this should be a parental responsibility and while I agree, the sad truth is it just isn't happening. Our schools are overburdened and underfunded. Sex education at the public schools is left in the control of the state - not the federal government so no matter what the person in the oval office advocates for, the control still sits in Austin. With this current legislative policy, Texas teens lead the nation in birth rate with a staggering 25% of those giving birth not being the girl's first delivery. This is the policy that has been embraced by the Republican leadership in Austin - both Bush and Perry. Furthermore, with that control firmly resting in Austin the current policy is IF sex education is offered by a district, abstinence is taught to be the only choice and there is no alternative method provided. If you are really interested in the Bexar County numbers alone - I have those somewhere and am happy to share them but what jumped out at me (and will Ed I'm sure) is that there are 12 year olds in our city having babies - that is the age of our daughters. There are 14 year olds on their second child. If that doesn't scare us, then nothing will. Obviously, there is no parental unit providing the education on sex. Think about the potential for the explosion of STDs for this group as well and what that will do to our healthcare system as many of these are on our indigent population rolls. We pay for their birthing and their healthcare now as they sit at home and do nothing yet there are those hardworking Americans who can't afford healthcare that isn't provided by their employer. Neither of the candidates has the answer to the healthcare crisis in our country and until we as consummers demand better benefits from healthplans with lower premiums and more choice then we will be left with those most deserving of the services left out in the cold.

Look at our own education system in Texas - we have unfunded mandates that are passed every two years and that is by a Republican controlled legislature and Governor. Then we have no child left behind, a wonderful Republican initiative that has backfired and left more of our children struggling within an education system that teaches testing and not the skill sets to make successful young adults out of our children. So, what was I thinking - I was thinking it can't get worse than the last eight years. So that's what I was thinking.

The day after the day after I see the light at the end of the tunnel too - and it is a train. It is a train that is bringing hope to a country that for years - even during the Bush, Sr. and Clinton presidencies walked around in a fog and did nothing about our overspending and underfunding initiatives that has left us in this mess we are in now. I can't speak about the "peanut farmer's economy" as I was still playing with Barbies back when he was in office but I can say this - a lot of the fear that is running rampant through the dialogue that has been shared is based on inaccuracies promulgated by the far right. I strongly agree that hard work should be rewarded. I can tell you how to get a job from someone that has no money - join the nonprofit sector! "Sharing the wealth" is something even McCain wanted to do - look at the first link I provide later.

The day after the day after - I'm still confused at how there is so much misinformation still floating around. I could go on about the tax plans but, instead, I would like to provide you with a link to correct the misinformation that still persists about small business taxes and the tax plans of the two candidates.

Small Business Taxation
http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/right_change_is_wrong.html
Pretty much gives info on every issue for both candidates since there was misinformation shared by both parties
www.factcheck.org
Partial-Birth Abortion - FYI this is not even a true medical term
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5168163

So, the day after the day after, I hold on to an optimism that for the first time in a long time the electorate is engaged and the world is watching. How our country shapes its' future isn't on the shoulders of Obama but on you and I. What we choose to do within our own piece of the world. We can either accept the new change and try moving forward and being a part of the team or we can sit back and be controlled by fear and misinformation as a certain party in our governmental system has wanted us to do for the last 8 years. We can mentor those young minds - not those in our own circles but those that couldn't be further from our own circles. We can reach out to the 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients and show them there is a better way than expecting a handout but instead a hand up. Something has to change and it has to start somewhere other than Washington to take a firm grasp in our country and reshape the future path we are taking. As for me, I'm choosing to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. How about you?

Veterans Day

I want to thank all of our service men and women for the job they do each and every day. I'm the proud daughter of a retired Air Force Tsgt and potentially the future mother of a US Air Force Academy graduate (at least that's what she says this month!)

I'm thankful for all the freedoms that the veterans and their families have sacrificed so much to give to me and my family. May your blessings be many and your heartaches be few.

XoXo
Pandora

Don't

Don't

Don't judge me for the way I look.

Judge me on the beauty of my inner being.

Don't judge me for the color of my skin, hair or even my clothing.

Judge me for the color of my imagination.

Don't judge me for the way I talk or the words I use.

Judge me for the creativity with which I express my individuality.

Don't judge me on my sexuality or preferences.

Judge me on the passion and compassion I show to humanity.

Don't judge me if I appear harsh when we meet.

Judge me on my sincerity when we part.

Don't judge me on my choices in music or art.

Judge me on my desire to share and express my inner child.

Don't judge me on my religious choices or beliefs.

Judge me on the convictions I show in them.

Don't judge me on my choice of friends.

Judge me on the tenacity with which I defend them.

Don't judge me because I am me, judge me for being true to myself.

When do we grow up?

Have you ever noticed that some people just never grow up? I mean you hear age is just a number and as I get older, I realize that is more and more true. I think that each year we chronologically add another year to our age but some of us never intellectually or emotionally live up to our age in years. I know people who are young and are old souls. They are emotionally and intellectually much older than the number of years they've been here. Then there are others who no matter how many candles they have on their cake they are still in their teens or even younger.

I think we all want to be young at heart. We all have moments where we don't act our age - both for better and for worse. But, when do we reach a point where we accept that we can't be a kid any more and we have to grow up in all aspects of our life? Does life force our hand and make us grow up or do some of us skate by surrounding ourselves with others who will step in and fill the voids our lack of maturity leaves? When do those of us who are the old souls, the mature ones, say enough is enough and stop allowing others to get by with childish behavior. I don't mean the going out and partying on Saturday night once in a great while and imbibing in too many spirits. I mean not facing our responsibilities and living up to our full potential. We have way too many people in the world now that live off of others - either through financial means or through other means. We have raised a generation of those that expect things to be given and not earned. That isn't just the generation Xers or Yers or even generation now. That includes some of those baby boomers.

I know some very highly intelligent people who are advanced in age that still like to do things like play the game telephone we played when we were younger. These people are leaders at their jobs. These people are looked up to in their communities and churches. Isn't it time to hold people accountable? Isn't that what is wrong with our country on a larger scale - there is no accountability for people's actions. Our governmental leaders aren't accountable and don't act mature. Our "role" models in athletics aren't accountable and don't act mature. Our youth leaders aren't accountable and don't act mature. I'm waiting for the day that those of us who take on our responsibilities and the responsibilities of others - us co-dependents and enablers - break free from the bonds and realize that saving the world and being the one to always be the adult in the room rise up and demand accountability. I'm waiting for the day we call people on their bullshit - the games of telephone - the he said she said - the choices they make. If there was a little less deniability and a lot more accountability our world would be a much better place.

I don't blame these immature people though - it is our fault - yours and mine. We don't demand accountability and until we get off our ass and do - the world will continue to use and abuse us. So my challenge to you...and to myself.....is to again - do the right thing and hold people accountable. Those around us - family, friends, co-workers, these are the people that we surround ourselves with and although we may not be able to change them as human beings we can change ourselves to stop them from taking advantage of our good nature, our maturity and our moral obligation to do the "right thing". For those of us that are parents, we can also help to shape the future by raising mature individuals who will be productive in the world and be accountable for their actions. If I do nothing else in my life - I hope to achieve that goal as a parent.

Well Helloooooooo Iowa Hawkeyes

Can't let a week go by without a shout out to my longhorns for a nice win over Baylor. I'm still stinging a little over last week's loss but, I'm holding on to some hope. I can't believe I am going to see that day where I am cheering for Oklahoma to win. Yes, you read that right - when OU plays Texas Tech, I will be forced to be a sooner fan for the night. My stomach is turning just thinking about it! I watched the OSU and Tech game tonight and was sorely disappointed that OSU didn't put up more of a fight in that game. I don't think Tech's offense is near as good as they looked tonight. What do I know though - I'm just a little ol' girl from Texas - women know nothing about sports *eyeroll*.

I have to send a shout out to the IOWA Hawkeyes - who beat up on Papa Joe's Lions and knocked them out of the way. Hopefully that will help my horns move up in the rankings.

A shout out to the Air Force Falcons too! Come on Colorado Living - keep the faith - 9-3 at the worst but we will hope for 10-2. I think they can take BYU but I think TCU will be tough.

I'm a little sad to see that I won't be able to rip on the Cowboys tomorrow. I hate the bye weeks! I will be back with more sporting thoughts in the days to come.

xoxo
"Hook 'Em Horns"

Where in the World is Pandora?

Okay, I took a few days off from my blog and my ranting about the world because yesterday for a brief moment, my world stopped. One of the women I care about most in the world was told she has cancer. We all think our Mom is invincible. From the moment we are conceived, she is the one who nurtures and sustains us when we need it the most (at least that's the way it is supposed to be). I was with her when she was told. She sat quietly and stoically as the news was delivered. She never broke down and when one of the doctors said to her if she was hanging in she told him that if she wanted to live she had no choice but to. I'm proud of her for the restraint she showed and how well she is doing with this painful situation.

I know at some point, I will have to explore my own feelings about this - this cruel twist of irony and fate all rolled in to a 2.5 by 2 cm mass. But, right now I'm not focusing on how I feel. If I get lost in the memories of the last time I traveled this path and how much it impacted my life and the person I am, I will lose focus of what is important at this moment - getting her through this and having her around to enjoy time with my kids. I can't remember all the pain and agony of watching my dad slip away - even though the day she got the news made it 17 years to the day that he left this world. I have to focus because that's my role - I am the caregiver. I am the responsible one - even though some in my family wouldn't see it that way. I don't know how to be anyone but that person. I have been that person for so long. Sometimes, I have brief moments where I let down that focus and the sharply guarded walls and I want to throw caution to the wind and just let go. A part of me is screaming to act out, lash out, be the irresponsible person deep down inside but, I'm not sure I've ever known how to do that and I know that it isn't neither the time nor the place for me to do that. I just don't want to get so lost in this deep dark place that I'm going and repeat the mistakes I've made over the last few years and bottle all that raw emotion. When I did that before, I convinced myself that I was doing it to protect and minimize the damage to those around me but, I'm afraid if I do that again, I will never be able to come back to the person I've found in myself recently and I really don't want her to disappear. What do you do when you are between a rock and a hard place? Maybe some of us are just destine to be co-dependents. Maybe some of us are just meant to be the caregivers. Maybe some of us are meant to be the wild child and others are the dolly do rights. Don't get me wrong, no one is forcing me to do anything I don't want to do and I don't do it out of a sense of obligation. I take it on by choice - to care for those that need me to care for them. Not just because I feel deep in my heart it is the right thing to do but, maybe it is a coping mechanism in some ways too. If I'm so busy and focused on what I have to do then I can control it and control what emotions escape. We see how well that did for me with Stalker X.

I do want to share about the healthcare experience yet again. When we went to the ER, it was for flu like symptoms. It was not because of anything else that would have pointed to her final diagnosis - kidney cancer. But, the ER doctor went the extra mile and didn't dismiss something he came across or pass it off to someone else to deal with. He followed through, and discovered what is and has probably been the source of the majority of her health issues for the past year. Dr. Edwin Davis will be a man I will never forget. He restored a slight bit of my faith in the medical profession and their competency and that they aren't all out to find the bottom line - some do still go the extra mile to make sure that their patient receives the best care. While on the ward, we did see both types of health care professionals - there were those medicine nurses who didn't care enough to bring meds on time to control pain yet there were others who wiped my tears in the brief moment after 38 hours without sleep that it all hit me as she was being given blood that I could lose my mother on the same day I lost my dad. There was a resident who hugged me and was worried I shouldn't drive myself home with lack of sleep and all the stress and even checked to make sure I made it okay. Those are the exception though - not the rule but those are the ones I will choose to hold on to and remember in this experience because those are the ones that made it bearable.

So, now we wait until surgery. We wait until we know if this is an isolated tumor found early or if this is the beginning of a long journey down an ominous path. I don't do well with waiting. And as for Mom, she still sits stoically awaiting the next steps. She finds an inner strength that I hope to someday find within myself and conquer my own demons. Until then, I will stay focused on the tasks at hand.

A tired Pandora wishing you all the best as I find my pillow and my cuddle baby and try to find sleep.

Why Do We Reward Doing the Right Thing?

Have you ever noticed that we expect certain things from people? We expect the kid barely squeaking by to barely squeak by. We expect the kid pulling straight A's to continue to do so. Yet, if that kid barely squeaking by, not because lack of intelligence but because of laziness, manages to bring their grades up or do something stellar - we almost throw a party. Why is that? Why do we feel we have to reward someone for doing what is right to begin with? That is just a small example.

I know someone who ended up pregnant. She had a small sports car and decided to trade it in for a "family" vehicle. The world nearly stood still because she put something else first. Isn't that what being a parent is all about? Giving up what we desire and want to make things better for our children or to do what is right or necessary to take care of our family. Why do we feel the need to reward that or burst with pride that someone who tends to be selfish and self-centered finally stepped up and did what was right? Remind me again why doing the right thing needs to be rewarded - why isn't just doing the right thing enough any more?

Look at professional sports - TO and Pacman Jones have bonuses written in to their contracts that if they stay out of trouble they get cash bonuses. We hold these guys up as role models instead of the Mom who is keeping her family of 5 together while Dad is in Iraq. It is a sad reflection on our society that we have to reward good behavior and making the right choice. Doing the right thing is never the easy thing - but none the less it is right and often results in the best outcome for the greater good - and doing that should be reward enough. Shouldn't it??

Election Night in America

I'm glad to see so many people turned out to vote. I'm watching the election returns and I can hear the kids in the other room cheering each time a "prediction" is made giving another state to Obama. No matter who you were voting for - that has to warm your heart. Young Americans - 13, 11, and almost 10 cheering for election returns like it was a sporting event. They are counting down with each group of polls closing. Yes, I'm a proud mom!

No matter who you supported in this race, I hope that now the election is over we can move forward and unite as a country and bring about change and good. I'm not just talking about the big changes in life - I'm talking about the little things that will start to make a change for the country.

Tomorrow - when you're traveling to work - smile at the people passing you in the cars. Make eye contact and smile at those that walk by you on your way in the door. When you see someone in uniform who is serving our country, take a minute and say thank you for your service - or even a police officer or fire fighter. The world would be such a better place if we were all just a little nicer to each other.

Just because someone doesn't look like us doesn't mean we shouldn't show them a little love. Invite those that seem the most different to join you at the table and bring about change.

I'm not a Liberal Democrat....

I'm just smarter than the average republican :)

First let me start with my own political philosophy....
I believe in the death penalty - in fact I'm all for putting in an express lane.
I believe in a strong military however, we shouldn't be responsible for policing the world when we can't even police our own back yards.
I believe that morals and ethics should be taught at home - not in our schools and not left to just our churches.
I believe in a hand up and not a hand out - we need to find a way to fix a system that perpetuates 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients.
I don't believe in creationism or evolution - I think it is intelligent design. I don't think believing one means you have to exclude the other.
I'm pro-choice even though it wouldn't be the choice I would make that doesn't give me the right - either politically, morally or ethically to inflict my position on another woman and heaven help the man that tries to tell me or any of the strong women I know what to do with their bodies.

Our education system is broken, our financial system is broken, and our families are broken. We can sit back and blame it on one party or the other but both are to blame. I don't vote based on party lines I vote based on issues and who fits my own belief system. That's a big issue in our country - there are too many hard core party line people who won't step outside their comfort zone and really look at the issues and who has the better plan to change what our country currently faces.

Am I an Obama supporter?? Yes. Did I look at both candidates before making my decision? Yes. For the last few years, we've been faced with dumb and dumber for our choices. We have to pick from the lesser of the evils. So I sat down, I watched every debate and I fact checked. How many of those who criticize my posts do that? I used these opportunities as a chance to have free and open dialogue with my children about our countries future and we researched together what each candidate had to say. I found a few things a little interesting.

I went to UNBIASED sources. If you go to the tax policy center www.taxpolicycenter.org - a non-partisan source you can review what each of the candidates tax policy will do for you and your family. I went and looked and found the following:

• family making $35000 - Obama gives them $1400 more while McCain gives them $480 more
• family making $50000 - currently pays $772 but McCain would reduce that to $51 while Obama gives them a return of $232
• Until $150000 - Obama comes in under McCain - then the two are virtually equivalent
• At $250000 - things change Obama starts to increase the tax bill for those families while McCain tends to level off and not adjust their tax bill

Both of these plans leave us with a deficit worse than we started with - Obama is $3.5 trillion but McCain is $5 trillion over the next 10 years.
Advantage: Obama

McCain until recently was Pro-choice. Then when he decided to go against everything he stood for as a Maverick and joined the very right winged conservatives that he fought against in 2000 he flip-flopped and went pro-life to try and court that vote. Now enter Sarah "I can't believe she is really in office somewhere" Palin. She is the poster child for right-winged conservatism. It is unfortunate that she spends so much time worrying about other people's children getting knocked up when they aren't married and not enough time on her own child and what she is doing. Then she parades her daughter in front of millions of people and the poor kid that got her pregnant as a shining example since they were "getting married". Yeah - they won't be adding to the divorce statistics in a few years....if they even make it down the aisle. Perhaps a few less trips in $700 hotel rooms overlooking central park with her younger children and more supervision for her older child might have prevented this "oops" moment. Or perhaps, if she wasn't prepared to teach her child about abstinence, she should have taught her safe-sex and bought her condoms. Oh...yes, that little bit of liberal slipped out. I'm sorry - I'm not willing to risk any child's life to a deadly disease transmitted through a natural act and last I checked sex was and is a natural act - even if you believe in creationism! Now, Joe Biden has a silver foot in his mouth but at least with Biden you know what you are in for. The truth be told - McCain is just plain old and not in the best of health. I respect his time that he has served his country and his time as a POW but, I'm not willing to put him in office and roll the dice and crap out and get stuck with some hillbilly hockey mom who was first for the bridge to no where and then against it and still built a road to no where in her state ( a $25 Million gravel road mind you). Nope - sorry, there are a lot of highly intelligent, in fact down right brilliant women politicians in both parties and he had to pick some obscure, unproven governor of a state that tries to sell an airplane on ebay and loses money on it! You can put lipstick on a pig...and sorry Sarah....it's still a pig...even if you pay $150000 for new clothes for it!

Advantage: Obama

Healthcare - we all know where I stand on healthcare. Neither of these gentlemen has the answer. We need to go even further back then both of them are talking and look at benefit design and work to transition from treatment of exacerbation's of illnesses to preventative medicine. So, instead of analyzing two plans both destine to fail I will call this one a draw.

Advantage: Neither

Neither of these men has clean hands and neither of their running partners does either. I went to factcheck.org and did a little fact checking of my own:

Yes - Sarah Palin's husband Todd was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party - a group that wants Alaska to secede from the US (don't let the door hit ya where the dog shoulda bit ya)! And although Sarah isn't a card carrying member she has attended some of their events.

Yes - Obama did attend a party for Rashid Khalidi - a critic of Isreal and a Palestinian supporter - but McCain chaired a group that gave Khalidi's organization he founded $480000. Oops guess he shouldn't of brought that one up!

Yes - Obama went to a church that is controversial but has anyone heard of John Hagee??? He and McCain were great friends and he was a staunch supporter of McCain until the water got too hot for McCain and he had to distance himself from Hagee - I don't hear mention of him like we do Reverend Wright.

BTW to those of you out there still touting "Joe the Plumber", I heard the tooth fairy and Tinkerbell are in town too. He isn't willing to pay taxes on money he doesn't have to begin with but he is willing to pay an agent to try to launch a music career. Oy vey! They are all fictional characters who have outlived their time.

I've seen the jokes - the ones where Michele Obama talks about evolution and supposedly is tied to monkeys for ancestors - well I hate to break it to ya but if ya look at the genetic chain of the chimp we are pretty closely related. If you would like to see that there is a whole genome project based at the University of Texas at Austin (yes I know you will all tell me a liberal school but I'm damn proud to say I'm class of '94 from that liberal school) that shows the minor difference in the two strands of DNA.

I could go on and on but I will leave you with this ....something my favorite grad student shared with me...

What if....

What if the Obama had paraded five children across the stage,
including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law
Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a
severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his
standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long
affair while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to
pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating
Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting
a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of
the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included
discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many
occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer
distribution?

What if the Obama's had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected
reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they
are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes
positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in
another when there is a color difference.

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:

Columbia University - B.A. Political Science
with a Specialization in International Relations.

Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude


Joseph Biden:

University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A.
in Political Science.

Syracuse University College
of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

John McCain:

United States Naval Academy
- Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:

Hawaii Pacific University
- 1 semester

North Idaho College
- 2 semesters

University of Idaho - 2 semesters

Matanuska-Susitna
College - 1 semester

University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in
Journalism

Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest
offices in the land as well as our standing in the world. You make the call.


By Adrian M. Parish



Be the change that you want to see in the world.

-Mohandas Gandhi


That is the great thing about our country - we are all entitled to express our views and opinions and even those of you out there that don't agree with mine - I encourage you to go and vote if you haven't already. Don't make the freedom we take for granted that is paid for by the blood of our sons and daughters from the past, present and future be for not.

As for me and my family - we voted early and I'm proud to say we voted for Obama! But, we are planning our exit strategy (hopefully better than what Bush did for Iraq) if the other side wins.

Oh nooooooo.....say it ain't so.....

Ugh....we lost to Tech!! Well, I can honestly say, I kinda had a feeling we would lose this week. It was a tough schedule to go against 4 top 10 teams in 4 weeks. I'm not real worried though. I think all things considered, we've done an outstanding job this season. I still hope to see Colt in the Heisman chase. I think he deserves it. I don't think Tech will make it out of the month of November undefeated but, hey, I could be wrong....nah.

Now Sunday was a totally different ballgame so to speak! I was happy to see the GIANTS beat up on da boyz and it wasn't half bad to see Peyton and the Colts add another loss to the Patriots season. All in all it wasn't a bad weekend for sports. I thought Jerry Jones was going to cry when they were getting pummeled.

Counting the minutes until MNF.....and then it is just 3 days until Thursday....more FOOTBALL!!

I love falls sports!

xoxo
Pandora

Awww You're Making Me Cry

So, for her birthday - J wanted to see her favorite singer - Carrie Underwood. We bought tickets back in July and planned our trip to Austin - Halloween night. What was I thinking?!? So between the trip to Philly and other things, by the time it was time to hit the road I was exhausted and didn't really want to drive 2 hours to Austin. I wanted to curl up in bed instead of skip the whole thing and let Dad take the girls to their concert. After some pushing and prodding, I slathered up with my icy hot and took some medicine and decided I would suck it up and go.

The drive there was pretty uneventful. We were talking about things that moms and daughters do - boys, music, etc. Traffic was terrible but once we got out on the open road it wasn't so bad and I started to see the excitement building with J and was starting to perk up a little myself. By the time we reached the Erwin center - J was about busting at the seams. I've never seen her get so excited about something. For a brief moment, I saw my very uptight and proper daughter let down her guard and stop being so serious. For a brief moment - she was 13....and she was very happy. In that moment, I forgot how much my joints hurt and I forgot how much I really didn't want to drive 4 hours round trip to go to this concert and I just enjoyed being a mom who was making her child happy and creating a memory that she will never forget.

When I bought the kids ipods a few years ago, I had them engraved - I put on there to dance like no one's watching and to sing like no one's listening and to love like you've never been hurt. She took my advice to heart and she and R did just that. It was great to see them laughing and getting along unlike what I normally see - the sibling bickering thing. They sang at the top of their lungs and J - with all her white girl rhythm danced and believe me - everyone was watching. I wasn't embarrassed, I was totally happy because for the first time she experienced being a kid and following her dream. I did pretty good keeping all my emotions bottled up - but then it hit me - when Carrie started singing " Don't forget to remember me" and I looked at my girls standing there, embracing and singing to each other, I lost it. I let go and let my "mommy moment" rush over me and I shed a few tears as I realized this would be a moment none of us would ever forget. I was happy I sucked it all up and went and I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.

We left the concert laughing about partying with dead people - since we saw both Elvis and Marilyn Monroe - singing Guns and Roses - even though it was a country concert and enjoying a nice fireworks show on our way back to the car. We laughed and played all the way home - got a little freaked out when the lumberjack and the boogie nights guy came to the window at the restaurant and were being goofy but got over it quickly when we realized they were harmless college aged drunks who had left a Halloween party and had the munchies. We arrived home around 2:30 in the morning and as quickly as the doors closed they were back to being siblings and picking at each other but for that one night - for that one mommy moment - I am forever greatful.

Of all the Taxicabs in all of Philly....

I had to get into his. Okay so as you can see from my earlier posts my trip to Philly was a little weird. By Thursday afternoon I was very ready to leave town. I walked out of the hotel where a dozen or more cabs were parked and from the towncar in front of me I hear a loud voice bellow "Hey sugar - need a ride? Where ya headed airport?" Being the reserved person I am, I of course said "sure" and hopped in. So off we go - the beginning of my now infamous journey. When I arrived in Philly - I saw that the cab fare to the center of town was a fixed rate so I was expecting to pay the $30 I had paid to get from the airport to my hotel. I didn't think to ask about a rate. My mistake!

So picture this very ummmmm large african american man covered in bling and looking like he had just stepped out of a gangster rap video and you have my driver. He was very conversational inquiring if I had been in Philly for the series or business. I said business but the series was a party that I somewhat enjoyed since I was a Cubs fan and never expected to see one in my lifetime. He asked where I was from and reluctantly I said Texas. He said he was Philly born and bred and would be there til he died. So being the sports fan I am, I make the assumption born and raised in Philly he had to be an Eagles fan. Boy was I mistaken! So I say to him "well the eagles will be my favorite team in a few weeks." Why's that?" he inquires. "Cause they will be beating the hell out of the cowboys." Right then and there - he slams on the brakes in traffic. "You gotta be shittin' me?!?" Horns honking behind us. He starts to slowly drive again. "Nope, I'm dead serious." "Sugar, you know who I am?" Confused and bewildered, I meekly answer "No." "Baby, I was TO's personal body guard and driver when he was an Eagle." Holy Shit! Of all the cabs in all of Philly I stumble into one that is a Cowboy fan and a friend of TO - which to me is Terribly Overrated. Oh my, how do I get out of this one. He begins to tell me what a great time he has when TO is back in town, what a great time they had when he was an Eagle and how the front office screwed him over. That he is such a talented athlete . Being my usual self, I couldn't let it go. I had to inform him how that no matter what type of talent you have if you're an asshole at the office and you can't get along with your teammates - you become a distraction and not worth what little you bring to the field. So back and forth we go....with him passing me his cell phone to show me video of him with TO, Donovan McNabb and Jerry Jones since when Jerry is in town he is his driver now. Oh boy - a Cowboy fan and an idiot!

So with all the series traffic, our ride to the airport is slow -and painful. He starts going on about the zodiac signs and how he is a sagitarius. He asks my sign and when I tell him aquarius he about flips his lid. I have to hear about how aquarian women are so strong and outspoken - like he hadn't figured that out from our sports argument already . Then he decides I need to know about his love life. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! He tells me he is dating a cop from there in Philly and shows me a picture of her. Lovely women - wonder why she's so desperate to be with this bozo. He goes on to tell me how she just doesn't "do it right". By now I'm squirming in my seat thinking how the hell did I get into this mess. He tells me he is recently divorced and has been going back to the ex cause "she knows just how to get it done". Ugh....I don't see any signs for the airport yet. So..."what should I do baby? stay with the ex or the cop?" I really HATE being called "baby". So I politely tell him - an ex is an ex for a reason and do you really want to piss off a woman who is licensed so carry a gun and authorized to use it? He tells me I'm harsh. Who me? I'm just a sweet little innocent aquarian woman from Texas . So as we near the end of our journey together and I anxiously await getting on the plane home he tells me "well sugar, since you've been so much fun and made me laugh so much I'm not gonna charge you my normal rate - I'm only gonna charge you $80 instead of $96 for the ride." "WHAT?!?!?" Oh my god he never said the towncar was a limo instead of a taxi!!!! Good thing work is paying for this - now I just have to explain why I took a limo. As I'm paying the bill with my credit card he hands me a business card with his cell phone number on it - "Baby, you ever get back to Philly and are single or need a lift give me a ring - or hell if you're ever just back in Philly." I smile politely, take the card and deposit it in the circular file once inside the door of the airport.

Man...can I pick 'em or what!