Shattered Illusions

I thought I was pretty wise to the world..key word there being thought. I also thought that after everything I've been through, I would be able to handle most anything thrown at me. I have to tell you, I in no way was prepared for this last week. Mouse and I were sitting on my bed with her doing homework and texting with her "boy toy". I've never been too worried about this kid. She has known him since 1st grade. They went to school together for several years and he lives in another city. He is still attending parochial school. So...anyway....last week as we were working on proportions, he texts her telling her he wants to ask her something but doesn't want her to get mad. I was thinking how bad could it be. I was so not prepared when she showed me his text. He was asking her to trade naked pictures. WTF?!? They are 13!!! He wanted her to send him a nude photo of herself and he would send her a shirtless photo. He begged, he pleaded, he even used the "don't you want to see how sexy I am". Umm SEXY at 13?? Not even old enough to have fuzz on the peaches. He begged...she got upset. So many things went through my head here.
1) I was very proud of her for so many reasons. She came to me... she never hesitated. She did tell me not to tell her dad because he would "flip out". She trusted me when this happened and felt she could talk to me about it. Way cool. She also told him not just no but hell no. She didn't give in when he begged and pleaded and she even told him on her own that if he didn't think more of her than that then maybe they shouldn't be talking. He apologized of course but, hasn't talked to her since.
2) I did pretty good with not flipping out myself. I wanted to and I've walked a very fine line. There's a part of me that wants to text him, call him, or better yet talk to his parents. But, I respect that she came to me and I don't want to violate that trust. That is far more important to me than going off on him or telling his parents.
3) I was surprised at how many ways it triggered me when she said these 4 little words, "I feel so violated." I know what that feels like. It sent me places I wasn't fond of going nor want to travel back to any time soon. What am I going to do when they actually want to date?!? This is going to be a wild ride and I'm soooooo not ready for it. I'm very glad that J is still in to horses and has NO interest in boys.

In the end, Mouse has decided that this guy really isn't worth the heartache and is "dumping" him. She said they can be friends but, she's not interested in someone who wants to trade pics like that - of course we all know that's why he was texting her "friends". They are the kind of girls who do. I'm so proud of her for being true to herself. I'm glad that she respects herself enough to do that. Too bad not all young people do. Sexting should be left to the adults :)

XoXo
Pandora