Okay....so much for my time off! After yet another emergency board meeting, I spent my day trying to do damage control and put out fires. Yeah me! I did something yesterday that I rarely do. I stood up for myself. I've always found it easier to stand up for everyone else but, have great difficulty when it comes to doing that same thing for me. I told work I would really like out of my agreement with them. Wow, did I really just virtually quit my job?!? What was I thinking...I'm flying without a net. While a part of that is exciting because it really means a whole new beginning for me, a part of me is profoundly sad. It really hit me today when my new boss of less than 24 hours told me he thought we could transition all of the organizational and operational things to his office until they get back on their feet. I knew that would happen but, I never really thought about it like that. They have already been asking me to come back...to not go....to think about it and make sure this isn't an emotional decision or one made out of frustration and it really isn't. This is going to be much harder than I would like for it to be. I've spent 9 years working with these people and I've invested a great deal of myself and my family in this organization. It was never just a job. But, this is no longer the place I need to be because they can't seem to change and without that, I can't continue to function in constant crisis management mode. So, I'm throwing something out to everyone....feel free to provide me with your honest feedback...What do you think? Should I take the money and run? Or....should I take the money and then volunteer to stay on as their point person limiting them to 10 hours per week until they get back on their feet and can pay a person to do this job...then maybe I can reconsider after some much needed separation from them but only if they function as a board and not as a dysfunctional family.
Pondering the unknown...
xOxO
Pandora
1 comment:
I agree leaving a position that you have spent so long in and have dedicated so much of yourself will not be easy. As for what you should do, I think you have to ask yourself several questions. Do you want to still be tied to this organization? It the answer is no, then take the money and run. If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, in what capacity to you want to be part of the organization? What if you are just a member or a board member? What will they expect from you, realistically? Can you work for ten hours of week and not get sucked back into doing more? If you are there, will they step up? They have not so far. It is hard to imagine them not relying on the person who has taken them so far. I am not suggesting that you cut and run. I am only suggesting that you really think about what you want otherwise, I think you will end up suffering a more difficult and bitter separation. Also, you don't have to make this decision right now.
What makes your GPS work is having a clear destination. Make sure you know where you want to go before you make your decision.
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