Wow, it is just days from February....the 1st month of 2010 is almost over. Seems like just yesterday we were saying goodbye to 2009. It has been a bit of a rollercoaster start to the year. I'm happy to be back to work...especially at a job that I really like for the most part. I like to stay on my side of the highway (all the other directors for the city are located across the highway from me). At least most of the staff don't think I'm going to fire them now. We had our first staff meeting this week and I tried to put all that speculation to rest. I'm content with how things are running...just trying to find my own footing.
I've found myself in a very weird place lately. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was told recently that I can't take anything on faith and sadly I must admit that's true. I've spent so much time in crisis control that I don't know how to be any other way than to expect the bottom to drop out at any moment. It would be nice to get to a point where I just stop waiting for that to happen.
I heard from an old ghost this week. Sadly, I don't think that ghost is ever going to go away. Things never change...same story...same emails....you'd think he would get tired of this little game but that is too much for a narcicist to do I guess. I can say how I react to him has sure changed. I don't go in to sheer panic mode near as much which is really kinda nice.
It has been so long since I've really engaged in the things I enjoy doing....like camping. It just seems that we can't get away. Between band concerts, debate tournaments, sports, homework, etc., we can't just rumble off into the night and enjoy being under the stars and that is 1 thing I will say for Texas...the stars at night really are big and bright.
Okay...so this post is a little bit of a ramble again...just finding it hard to engage but, want to keep writing so perhaps at some point those words will just flow again....until then
xoxo
Pandora
2 comments:
you may thing the stars are bigger in Texas but have you ever checked them out in Colorado away from the city lights? You think time is moving fast now, right till you get a little older, the older you get the faster it moves along, trust me.
I also find it werid that it is almost February. It is not that it has gone really fast, I have just been really busy. I am really glad you like your new job. You seem to be so happy with it. I really enjoy listening to talk about everything and everyone.
I understand wanting to stay away form the main group. I do my best to stay away from the main building.
I can also understanding waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have been feeling like that for awhile. I almost wish it would happen so I would be in familar territory.
It is great that you are starting to seperate yourself from the ghost. It will be really nice when that seperation is complete.
I am sorry you are so busy that you can't do some of the things you like. I don't remember what it is like to not have something to do all the time. When I have a free day I find myself planning something to do or completely lost. Hopefully you will get a change to go camping soon. Spring break is just six weeks away. Maybe one of the weekends you can get away to enjoy the stars.
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