Of all the Taxicabs in all of Philly....

I had to get into his. Okay so as you can see from my earlier posts my trip to Philly was a little weird. By Thursday afternoon I was very ready to leave town. I walked out of the hotel where a dozen or more cabs were parked and from the towncar in front of me I hear a loud voice bellow "Hey sugar - need a ride? Where ya headed airport?" Being the reserved person I am, I of course said "sure" and hopped in. So off we go - the beginning of my now infamous journey. When I arrived in Philly - I saw that the cab fare to the center of town was a fixed rate so I was expecting to pay the $30 I had paid to get from the airport to my hotel. I didn't think to ask about a rate. My mistake!

So picture this very ummmmm large african american man covered in bling and looking like he had just stepped out of a gangster rap video and you have my driver. He was very conversational inquiring if I had been in Philly for the series or business. I said business but the series was a party that I somewhat enjoyed since I was a Cubs fan and never expected to see one in my lifetime. He asked where I was from and reluctantly I said Texas. He said he was Philly born and bred and would be there til he died. So being the sports fan I am, I make the assumption born and raised in Philly he had to be an Eagles fan. Boy was I mistaken! So I say to him "well the eagles will be my favorite team in a few weeks." Why's that?" he inquires. "Cause they will be beating the hell out of the cowboys." Right then and there - he slams on the brakes in traffic. "You gotta be shittin' me?!?" Horns honking behind us. He starts to slowly drive again. "Nope, I'm dead serious." "Sugar, you know who I am?" Confused and bewildered, I meekly answer "No." "Baby, I was TO's personal body guard and driver when he was an Eagle." Holy Shit! Of all the cabs in all of Philly I stumble into one that is a Cowboy fan and a friend of TO - which to me is Terribly Overrated. Oh my, how do I get out of this one. He begins to tell me what a great time he has when TO is back in town, what a great time they had when he was an Eagle and how the front office screwed him over. That he is such a talented athlete . Being my usual self, I couldn't let it go. I had to inform him how that no matter what type of talent you have if you're an asshole at the office and you can't get along with your teammates - you become a distraction and not worth what little you bring to the field. So back and forth we go....with him passing me his cell phone to show me video of him with TO, Donovan McNabb and Jerry Jones since when Jerry is in town he is his driver now. Oh boy - a Cowboy fan and an idiot!

So with all the series traffic, our ride to the airport is slow -and painful. He starts going on about the zodiac signs and how he is a sagitarius. He asks my sign and when I tell him aquarius he about flips his lid. I have to hear about how aquarian women are so strong and outspoken - like he hadn't figured that out from our sports argument already . Then he decides I need to know about his love life. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! He tells me he is dating a cop from there in Philly and shows me a picture of her. Lovely women - wonder why she's so desperate to be with this bozo. He goes on to tell me how she just doesn't "do it right". By now I'm squirming in my seat thinking how the hell did I get into this mess. He tells me he is recently divorced and has been going back to the ex cause "she knows just how to get it done". Ugh....I don't see any signs for the airport yet. So..."what should I do baby? stay with the ex or the cop?" I really HATE being called "baby". So I politely tell him - an ex is an ex for a reason and do you really want to piss off a woman who is licensed so carry a gun and authorized to use it? He tells me I'm harsh. Who me? I'm just a sweet little innocent aquarian woman from Texas . So as we near the end of our journey together and I anxiously await getting on the plane home he tells me "well sugar, since you've been so much fun and made me laugh so much I'm not gonna charge you my normal rate - I'm only gonna charge you $80 instead of $96 for the ride." "WHAT?!?!?" Oh my god he never said the towncar was a limo instead of a taxi!!!! Good thing work is paying for this - now I just have to explain why I took a limo. As I'm paying the bill with my credit card he hands me a business card with his cell phone number on it - "Baby, you ever get back to Philly and are single or need a lift give me a ring - or hell if you're ever just back in Philly." I smile politely, take the card and deposit it in the circular file once inside the door of the airport.

Man...can I pick 'em or what!