For the first time in a very long time, I feel totally alone. It just feels like every time I start to trust people around me someone does something foolish to shatter that trust. I know that I am probably hyper sensitive about things but, when I let down my guard to people who "care" about me, I trust them to handle it with care and caution and not throw away all the hard work it takes for me to do that.
I've worked hard to identify people in my life that I feel I can turn to when things get rough. Someone shattered that trust tonight and to be totally honest I'm devastated. I know to a lot of people what happened would seem small and petty but, after everything I've been through having another angry man come at me just triggered every emotion I've worked so hard to deal with and I'm not sure I will ever find a way past that to trust again. Not to mention, it involved my child and every parent knows they are super protective of their children - especially when they are young.
I'm hurt and confused and feel I have no where to turn at the moment so here I sit and try to sort out what I'm feeling - how many of these tears are for me and my shattered trust and how many are for the fact that my little boy's heart is broken at the moment. I know kids are resilient and forgiving but, I'm just afraid I'm not any longer. So.....I will go hug my child one more time and tell him that the world can be a cruel harsh place but that I will always always love him and then probably cry myself to sleep.
A very sad pandora wishing the world the inner peace I miss.
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