Knowledge is Power

It is important for me to learn how to talk about my life experience - no matter how unpleasant it is for me. I thought I would work on that process by sharing some things I have learned in the last few years.

• Every 2 minutes, someone in the US is sexually assaulted.
• Every 8 minutes, someone in the US is raped.
• 60 % of sexual assaults are never reported to the police.
• If a rape is reported, there is 50 % chance of arrest.
  
• If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution - only 58% of those end up in conviction. If there is a felony conviction - only 69% chance they will spend time in prison. That means out of the 39% reported - only 16.3% will spend time in prison.
• If you factor in unreported rapes - only 6 % of rapists ever spend time in jail.
• 15 out of 16 rapists go free.
• 73 % of rape victims know their assailant.
• 1 out of every 6 women in the US has been a victim of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
• Victims of sexual assault are: 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 6 times more like to suffer from symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, 26 more times likely to abuse drugs, and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide and women who have been victimized are 7 times more likely to be assaulted again.

Recovery from a violent crime like this is a long term process. It isn't something that we as a society are comfortable discussing openly. Women are still shamed into feeling that somehow they did something to bring it on to themselves - they didn't fight hard enough, they made the wrong choices, they should have said no more forcefully, they were dressed wrong, you've heard them all. If you go to a party and say you've been mugged, you are showered with empathy and concern. You don't get that same reaction if you say you were raped. You are often shunned and made to feel like you did something wrong and the room clears and leaves you feeling dirty and violated all over again. A big part of recovery is also being able to accept that no matter what choices you made, no matter the circumstances, the moment you said no or stop should have been enough to end the assault. It is hard enough as the "victim" of the assault to get to this point. I know that I edit how much information I share with people because most of the people would be judgmental and I'm hard enough on myself about the situation. I think that plays a large part in my lack of ability to address my stalker. I've never left that room. It isn't about the sex - it is about the control and the power. Unfortunately, I'm still living in that fear and that loss of control and power. But, it is baby steps. The fact that I'm sitting here writing this post and sharing the "facts" with my readers is a step in the right direction. So thank you for the support and love. Hopefully this post will raise someone's awareness. Share this with the women in your life that you love - take a look at all the women in your life - count out 6 and know that 1 of them has probably been or will be the victim of at least an attempted sexual assault.

Here are just a few safety tips from the RAINN website:

• Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you are and who is around you may help you to find a way to get out of a bad situation.
• Try to avoid isolated areas. It is more difficult to get help if no one is around.
• Walk with purpose. Even if you don’t know where you are going, act like you do.
• Trust your instincts. If a situation or location feels unsafe or uncomfortable, it probably isn’t the best place to be.
• Try not to load yourself down with packages or bags as this can make you appear more vulnerable.
• Make sure your cell phone is with you and charged and that you have cab money.
• Don't allow yourself to be isolated with someone you don’t trust or someone you don’t know.
• Avoid putting music headphones in both ears so that you can be more aware of your surroundings, especially if you are walking alone.

xoxo

Pandora