Being the Bigger Person

As an enabler - I find myself in the position to be the "bigger person" often. I tend to let people hurt me, treat me poorly and then expect me to be the one bearing the olive branch. What makes us be the peacekeeper? Does anyone else out there get tired of having to "turn the other cheek"? I know I am.

I was manipulated in to a situation where I spent my day with someone who for the past few months has not treated me well and the situation this week had escalated to a point where I was determined to hold my ground and not be the one cloaked in the cover of white doves. I was not very smart for allowing myself to be manipulated in to the situation to begin with however, I did. What caught me off guard was that after I relented and went in to what I felt at the time was the lions den, was it wasn't enough. I was told I needed to be the bigger person and make the effort to patch things up. It feels like it will never be enough. No matter what I do - it will never be what people want or desire. I have to find a point where I stop moving the line and stand my ground. I live in a state famous for the line in the sand - even more so I live in a city where the line in the sand was drawn.

Now, I know I'm not completely innocent in this situation. No one is ever completely innocent - it takes two to fight. But, I do know that I've done things out of love and the best of intentions. Just because someone is the elder person in the relationship doesn't automatically make them right. I guess I'm just tired of being the weeping willow- it's my turn to be the acorn who stands its ground - I want to be the mighty oak for a change.

I know this probably makes no sense without the full context of the situation - I guess this post is more of a reaffirmation for me that I have to stick to my guns and not give in to peer pressure. I just want to be treated with respect and appreciated. When I'm wrong, I swallow my pride no matter how difficult that is. It is time that others stop taking advantage of my kind heart and accept responsibility for their actions.