Another Day....

and still not feeling better. I sit here at the airport with my flight delayed 5 hours for weather and all my joints are aching today. I've researched Epstein Barr Virus until I'm blue in the face no pun intended and while I'm not doubting the doctors tests - I am doubting that that is all that is wrong with me. I am so tired of feeling this way. I went from a fully functioning and active person to someone that has to nap to make it through my day. I live on icy hot - both the roll on and patches to get through my day and when I'm not hitting the icy hot I'm having to take pain meds to relieve some of the discomfort. The lymph nodes on my clavicle still haven't gone down any. I'm marking the days off on my calendar before I see the doctor again - 23 to go but who is counting.... oh wait, that would be ME!

Again, let me say that I know there are really great physicians out there. Apparently, I just can't find them or the ones I find are so busy and I'm not assertive enough (yeah right!) to get an answer. It makes me question so many things. What happens to the patients that aren't like me and persistent and demanding? What happens to the ones that don't have insurance and can't afford to keep going back and asking new questions? It is scary to think this is the type of "care" we get. Again, I say, we've lost the care out of health care. Everyone wants to feel their best and just because you don't have the answers doesn't mean that there isn't something truly wrong with your patient. Even someone as strong-willed as myself starts to doubt and those little moments creep in where I do question if there is something really wrong with me or if I'm just being a baby about this "virus". Then I reread the signs and symptoms and see that they only last 2 months at most. My first doctors appointment to address this was August 6th....yes that is 83 days but again - who is counting. I am just shy of 3 months worth of feeling like crap and no closer to a resolution than I was when I went in.

So...what's an unhappy patient to do? I've fired my primary care physician. I've consulted a specialist who sent me to another specialist who sent me back to the first specialist who is sending me to another specialist and then seeing me again herself. Confusing enough for ya? I will be happy when we reach a point in our health care system when the patient's participation is valued more by those administering the care. I know that day is coming. I can tell my physicians that there will be a come to Jesus meeting sooner than they think if this continues.

Until then - this is Pandora bored and in misery at the airport - wishing I hadn't packed the icy hot in my checked bag.

xoxo