So....it is late again and I'm exhausted and all of my joints hurt but, I just can't sleep. I can't stop the random thoughts from rattling around in my head. Sometimes I just wish there was a button or a switch to make them stop. I have felt bad for so many weeks now and I keep being told how I just need to ride this out. I can say this for certain - it isn't helping my mood. I feel so trapped and with my life experiences when I feel trapped I don't do well. Tonight has been particularly rough. I have spent the last 12 weeks bonding with the puppies and the reality that they are moving out has come home to roost. I have 2 serious offers and that leaves me with just one to go. I know I can't rescue the world and I can't keep them all. It just isn't realistic but oh man this is gonna hurt. It already does. I've tried my hardest to make sure the homes they are going to will keep in touch and send me pictures and updates as the babies grow. With each of them a piece of me will go too.
As for the not feeling well....I would give most anything to feel better at this point. I can't begin to describe what this is like. I'm so easily exhausted. I don't remember feeling "normal". I could burn the candle at both ends and now I barely burn it at one. I have constant joint pain. I've learned to use Icy Hot as a perfume and it only takes the major edge off. The answer for treatment: bed rest, fluids, time, rest as much as possible and OTC medication for the aches and pains. Okay....it has been 14 weeks of this now. When does a "virus" that normally takes 4-6 weeks to run its course let loose of me?
My brain is fried - I should probably wrap this up because it just feels like I am so totally rambling and making absolutely no sense. Pet your kids and hug your pets....I know that I will be giving my babies an extra squeeze tonight before I finally find my solace.
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