Cherry Condom Girl

Frozen Lake in Colorado....*sigh*

Everyone who reads my blog regularly knows a few things about me:

• I'm pretty liberal...and very openminded about sex issues/topics.
• I'm very protective of my children...and not real fond of the current education system.
• I tend to be very opinionated...otherwise I probably wouldn't have a blog.

Having said all those things....I want to relay a story that took place at my house in the last few weeks. Mouse (the 7th grader) came home after a track meet a couple of weeks ago and said she needed to talk to me in private. I was thinking hmmmm this doesn't sound good. As soon as we got home and she could whisk me away from her siblings she began to relay a story to me that as a parent made any remaining illusions I had of exposing her to public school kids being an okay or good thing vanish like the prom queen's virginity on prom night. On the way back from the meet, they stopped at a gas station to get snacks. I don't think what happened next is the kind of snacking the track coach had in mind. Two of the girls went to the restroom and bought flavored condoms and then had a discussion about which flavor they preferred. I am by no means prudish and if our youth will be engaging in sex, I'm glad they would take precautions to keep themselves safe. I do have issues that these girls were 7th and 8th graders. I'm not saying it is okay for high schoolers to be engaged in sex acts either but, I'm realistic enough to know it happens every day in schools both public and private every day. I do find it appaling that girls that are 11-13 know what flavor condom they prefer. I can't begin to tell you as a parent all the bells and whistles that went off in my head. I've been to seminars where they talk about girls, 12 and 14 year olds on their first and second babies. I know that stuff happens. But, to have my own child put it in this perspective for me was something I wasn't prepared for at all. Where was the adult supervision on this trip?!? My daughter spends the majority of her week with other people in an environment that I'm not always thrilled with. I do expect them to exercise some control in these situations and provide adequate supervision. This doesn't even begin to cover the fact that I just realized that a group of very influential girls are left to travel with a single 24 year old male track coach. THIS is why I usually don't allow her to ride the bus back from the meets. But, I tried to take a step back and not totally flip out. There were some positives in all this which I will get to later.

So, I engaged in a conversation with both my daughters about safe sex, good public decorum, and what I would like for them as a parent to do but, what I will also support them with should they make choices. This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. It was just a little more intense. I also told Mouse that I thought I wanted to talk to the school about this incident just to voice my concern as a parent. She begged me not to (didn't want to be labeled the snitch) and against my better judgment, I relented. The girl involved will always be Cherry Condom Girl from here on out though. (On a side note - someone did say something to the coach and it really wasn't me...honest :) )

The following week - district track meet rolled around and it was the last meet of the season. The team was going to stop afterwards to eat dinner together. As a parent, I wanted her to come home with me but, I also didn't want her to miss out on the commradery of the day. So again, I didn't use the best of judgment when I allowed her to ride the bus back. I got a text message from her on the way home saying a group of kids was passing the condom around and taking turns licking it. Ummm EWWWWW!!!! That is just nasty on so many levels. I didn't ask if anyone was wearing it or if this was just like a piece of candy they were all sharing (You're welcome for the visual Heart :) ). I couldn't discuss that via text message so when we both got home, I asked her what the hell was going on. She relayed to me that a group of girls and boys was passing this thing around the back of the bus taking turns licking it to get a taste. Wow...I was just mortified and grossed out. Talk about germs....that is a good way to spread every "itis" out there...hepatitis, menengitis, you name it. What stopped me in my tracks though was what she told me next....she got up and moved to the front of the bus. She made a choice not to give in to the peer pressure and did what she felt was right. In that moment, I knew that she would be just fine in public school or anywhere else she goes. She used her own moral compass and did what she felt was right and totally disenaged from a bad situation.
I finally saw Cherry Condom Girl....years from now when they walk across the stage at graduation (if CCG makes it that far)....they can call her by her name but, I will still see nothing but Cherry Condom Girl. Which brings me to a whole other blog for another time....Impressions....

Again - a proud Mom....

XoXo
Pandora